This is how i destroyed my life
Hear out my story, i need to vent it's too much right now.
Everything was so good till 10th, after 10th it changed all; my life. Was an average student scored in the line of 75% both in 10th and 12th.
After 10th started to prepare for JEE exam and cracked it. Mind it, prepared for that exam for 3 hard years; 11th, 12th & drop year. Those years sucked the social life out of me.
Well "kuch paane ke liye kuch khona padta hai" so got into top 10 IIT. Was really happy.
Im a really introverted guy, and ugly too. Im dark skinned so yeah had a hard time making friends there in the new environment. Had no one during my whole clg days which led to severe depression, addiction to cigarettes, alhocol. Being ugly really is a punishment. It affected my academics alot, im having 17 backlogs in all. All day in clg used to be spent alone. From hostel to classes. All alone. I tried making friends in my cls but they didn't want to be with me. In my 3rd year isolation, self rejection and what not made to go attempt that. Tried to hamg myself but unfortunately got saved. Spent 5 days in icu. And as of today its been 4 months im in my home with my extremely disappointed parents. Being told that i shouldn't have survived and that i was a mistake. And returning to clg not even possible as they wont fund my education now and even if i did return i cant clear the backlogs not handle the acad pressure there.I dont even have money for therapy and all. Which asked for & as expected denied that too. As in their pov its nothing. So thats how in short i destroyed my life.