u/this-life-2411

Hey friends 🧡 I am 5 weeks post surgery to remove tumors from my 3rd recurrence and started Kasquali just on Monday. By Wednesday, sudden onset of cellulitis around the surgery site and painful seroma with drainage at the previously healed incision :( The onc has asked me to stop kasquali while on the new antibiotics which seem to be slowly working.

Anyone else had these types of delays? I am concerned to delay treatment even more 😕 I am also frustrated as there always seems to be something and I want to just get on with it. I am know on the full dose of Fluvestrant which the onc says alone is still effective so I am technically still on some treatment.

Trying to stay positive and support my body while it heals once again. My energy has definately taken a nose dive and I am absolutely more cranky and going down the worst case scenario rabbit holes.

I have breast cancer now for the third time in 10 years with this most recent recurrence being only a year since the last round of surgeries and chemo. I have always approached each challenge with positivity and dealing with one thing at a time. Understandably, now I am scared, angry and not always in the best of moods as I navigate more tests, results, scheduled revision surgery, and the reality of more aggressive life long medication in my future to manage cancer as long as possible.

I am tired of managing everyone else's emotions. My spouse actually said to me that I need to recognize how hard this is on everyone else .....and when I am emotional it doesn't make it easy for them.

Seriously.

I don't even know how to cope at this point ( I am already in therapy weekly) when in the moment the comments are insensitive and somewhat hurtful, I just want to rage or crawl in a hole.

Why am I the one who has to "stay positive" when honestly I don't have the capacity to do that 24/7. I feel like I am at the point where I can't truly share my feelings with anyone, even my husband bc it just ends up in an argument where I am being told I am being irrational.

I am allowed to not be ok sometimes !

I feel like this time around I should just navigate this alone and shut everyone out. Its just easier.

Thanks for the vent.