Last night's ACOA meeting was triggering for me
It has been awhile (few years) since I was triggered like this, but after my ACOA meeting last night, I was really feeling shitty.
For starters, I'm a guy and I've lived in a state of isolation for most of my adult life, and I've also been unlucky at love. So last night, a couple of guys are sharing that they've been dating and how they've actually scored dates, and one date showed up completely plastered. That was the first thing.
Next, the guy next to me shared how he seems to attract narcissists, and how his ex-wife is one and is manipulating the kids against him. He then goes on about how awful the dating scene is, and shares that he is part of the MGTOW movement (Google if you don't know).
That hit a huge chord with me, because of how unsuccessful online dating has been with me, and how I understand (but completely do NOT condone) how men get sucked into the toxic manosphere.
I've see happy couples and families, and I now know what healthy ones are thanks to ACOA. And as a guy who has always wanted to be a husband and father and isn't, that shit HURTS. At my age, it's most likely not in the cards for me. I have family members who occasionally approach the subject with me, and it feels like tearing a huge scab off a big wound. Why love for everyone else but me?