TW - ED brought on by wedding
TW for disordered eating ///
Has anyone else found wedding prep has caused an old ED to resurface?
I had anorexia as a child from about 14-16, but have been doing really well as an adult and would have considered myself “recovered”, or as recovered as I think one can be.
I had maintained a healthy weight, but several months ago I started trying to lose some weight and “tone up” to feel good in my dress (wedding is in ~2 months). What started out relatively innocently with more exercise and mindful eating has turned into a full blown relapse. I’m restricting, fasting, over-exercising and generally obsessed with my weight and intake. My original goal weight has passed and I can’t stop, don’t feel like I can or should stop.
It has helped with other ongoing stresses with family etc. to have something else to focus on, but it’s obviously causing it’s own host of issues, in particular arguments with my partner over food etc.
It’s sucking the joy out of me and everything I should be enjoying right now like cake and menu tasting, my hen do etc. but I don’t know how to stop. I tell myself after the wedding I can stop but I know that I’m lying to myself. I’m still in the healthy BMI range too, so I despite my partner and work having expressed concerns I feel I can’t really admit and seek help either.
Has anyone else struggled with this, and if so, have any advice for reentering recovery this close to a wedding?
Is this a common thing brides experience with so much pressure put on them to look a certain way?