u/throwaway197389290

I have been on 10mg paroxetine for about 3.5 years now. It was literally life-changing for me. I started doing regular therapy about 6 months after starting, and went consistently for 3 years. I finally "graduated" therapy a couple weeks ago because my therapist and I agreed I've got a good tool belt of coping skills and my anxiety/depression are basically nonexistent. I never would've gotten here if I hadn't been on the paroxetine first.

However, paroxetine caused me to gain so much weight. 30-40lbs since I started. Now, granted, I've had some life style changes as well, but nothing that would cause such drastic weight gain. And the weight gain lines up with the exact timeline of starting the meds. I've tried eating fewer cals, working out, everything and can't lose any of the weight. Since I feel so confident in my ability to tackle life now, I'm wanting to taper off the paroxetine and see how it goes without it.

Has anyone tapered off 10mg after being on it for so long? I know it's a relatively low dose, but the withdrawals I see people talk about are scary as shit. And after being on it for years I worry that it will be worse. TIA.

My cousin (25F) and I (24F) have been best friends pretty much for as long as I can remember. Our families lived close so we hung out a lot as kids. As we've gotten older, we've moved further away but still keep in contact.

As adults, I've noticed that she is the biggest flake I've ever met. About a year ago, I finally noticed and stopped trying, but to give a recap -- I would try to make plans to call or do a virtual game night, and she was constantly cancelling. She once offered to sign a contract (her idea, not mine) that made her give me $20 every time she cancelled within 24 hours notice -- just to give you an idea of how bad it got. Sounds great in theory, but she just stopped making so many plans with me after that to avoid it. And that's when I stopped trying so hard to make plans.

On top of that, she is incredibly male-centered. She has been in 2 relationships since we've graduated college, and essentially revolves around whatever man she's with. We barely hang out alone together; her boyfriend is almost always there or invited. She's constantly bringing him up in conversation even when it's not relevant.

For the past few months, we've both been on independent weight loss journeys. At the beginning, we promised to be accountability partners, sending each other our meals and workouts for the day. For the first week, we both were going strong, and then after that, nothing from her. Up until last week, I was consistently sending my meals and workouts and getting nothing in response. Maybe the occasional "good calorie burn" on my workout. I finally gave up on that and stopped sending them.

On the topic of texting and messages, she hardly responds to my stuff. Sometimes I'll send her a snapchat, and I'll see that she was active after I sent it but hadn't opened it. Texts go unanswered at least 50% of the time.

Before I get the inevitable comments about what I've done to alleviate this/why I don't hang out with other people:

- I've asked her to please check with me before inviting her boyfriend when we plan to hang out. She's been... okay about doing it. Sometimes she springs it on me when we call and just asks right then and there... with him in the background listening.

- I've spoken to her before about how flaky she is and how I would like to spend more time with her. She always says it's because work is busy or she has been hanging out with her boyfriend or whatever other excuse.

- It probably sounds like I'm overbearing or that I message her a lot. But I genuinely don't talk to her that much or reach out because I've just given up. Besides the workout stuff, I barely messaged her at all in the past few months.

- I have other friends. A lot of them that I love hanging out with. But she's been my longest friend and it's hard to just let go of that. Especially when we're family.

- I genuinely love the time we do spend together. We get along so well and we have so much shared history. When we talk, we just click.

I guess I just don't know where to go from here. Anyone else, I would say fuck it and drop them. But for some reason I can't with her. Maybe it's because we have so much history. Do I just accept that she'll never reciprocate as much as me? Or do I try to talk to her again and fix it?

ETA: just a random addition that I've been overthinking since it happened:

She was diagnosed with ADHD as a child, because she presents very very typically. Basically textbook. When I began to seek a diagnosis for inattentive type ADHD as an adult, she was weirdly resistant to it. Didn't believe I had it and *"*if you do have it, it can't be that bad".

Always has kind of bothered me and definitely hurt my feelings after I had struggled for so long in school and life. We never really talked about it again but I think it definitely changed how I see her a bit.

Spoiler alert: I have incredibly severe inattentive ADHD so joke's on her.