feeling unwanted after an experience w a white woman as a black woman.
so recently i’ve been more open about my sexuality, even telling coworkers and dressing more masculine (im 1000% fem but sometimes it makes me feel more queer hahah i like it)
anyways last weekend i stumbled upon a sapphic dating/dance event and decided to stay
when i walked in, one of the volunteers handing out name tags (including stickers that identify if you’re just looking for friends, poly or non-poly) asked for my number
she was cute so i said yea
after her shift she sat w me at the bar then we danced together.
she asked if i wanted to see her pet cat so we walked to her place holding hands
im rambling now but we ended up watching tv till 2am and making out.
it’s important to note that she initiated everything.
i went over the next day and we spent 4 hours together, madeout and more
yesterday i went over after work and it was going great until she asked what i was hoping to get out of this
truthfully i answered that i wasn’t sure, i just like being around her and im attracted to her.
her answer broke me.
she said she doesn’t think she’s into black women. specifically mentioning that my lips are too big and she didn’t fully enjoy our kisses.
i feel like shit. i feel predatory. i feel gross. i feel unwanted.
now im so scared to continue dating women. my city is pretty white but i’ve never felt so… different.
im not very experienced. i only really came out at 22 and im 23 now.