u/throwra_sadgrandkid

In the last 2 years I’ve had my first two patients die from post-spay complications and it haunts me everyday to the point where I dread spaying now. I spayed a dog who afterwards has been running a high temperature (not pyrexia yet) for about a week but still eating and drinking fine, no abdo pain and on US no free fluid in abdomen. I panicked and put her on ABs anyway. I’m now paralysed in my bed, unable to get out of it in fear it will all happen again; the patients slow suffering, the client abuse and dealing with their grief. It’s bad enough to make me want to quit the industry. I don’t know how to deal with this emotionally, physically and mentally.

I just moved to the UK from Australia and when people casually ask me what I’m doing for my long weekend I’ll tell them I’m travelling to Europe for a city break. I do this very often. Whenever I mention this, my work colleague has had made snarky comments about how I earn so much money multiple times. I would respond civilly by saying things like ‘I don’t spend money on any alcohol’ or ‘I save money by staying at hostels.’ The last time she reacted all snarky I just snapped and told her that if she wanted to travel too she could go through 5 years of veterinary school and come out still paying off a 50k student loan just like me. I think my tone silenced her more than my logic.

I should’ve just let it slide and I can’t stop thinking about how I over reacted. If she had the curiosity to ask then I would’ve gladly laid out all the ways I save money to travel. But instead I just reacted badly to someone reminding me how privileged I was, which I agree with because travelling is a privilege. She’s also a newly graduated veterinary nurse while I’ve been a vet for 10 years. The salary gap is enormous (I think I’m at least double what she earns) as is the age gap, which is worse because I feel like I snapped at someone younger than me and I should’ve been the bigger person. But I also consciously made significant spending choices to be able to afford to do what I do which I feel like she didn’t see.

What I have said in the past as a reply:

• I lived with my mum until 27. She on the other hand moved out of her parents house at 18 years of age
• I don’t smoke, drink or consume caffeine. She on the other hand vapes and gets blind drunk every weekend
• I haven’t bought makeup or clothes in 5 years. I wear hand me downs or second hand makeup from my aunt, younger brother and mother. I’ve literally been called too plain. She on the other hand clearly puts in the effort (and totally worth it she looks amazing)
• I don’t have a car or pets. She has both
• I have no savings because any remainder income goes to my mother to support her retirement life, paying off home loans and mortgages back in Australia. This girl rents her place
• I stay at hostels. I cook my own meals there. Depending on which country I’ll even cook vegetarian only. Fine dining is my vice but when I go, I find cheaper specials and make sure I don’t eat anything else for the rest of the day. She works out a lot and buys protein supplements and meals. She’s better than me in that regard (investing in her body) but I am just pointing out how we prefer to spend money on different things

Did I over react?