u/toadpuddles

Recently engaged and we’re working towards getting married next year. I’m also in OCIA at the moment and should be “fully Catholic” by the time we get married. My fiancé is a cradle catholic and getting married in the church is very important to us.

I skimmed our parish’s webpage on the process of getting married there and it mentioned the FOCCUS test, which I also snooped via some googling. There are a few questions about NFP on there, which made me nervous.

During my time in OCIA I have been happy with my choice to join the Catholic Church and agree with the majority of what is taught to me.

The sticking point is the church’s teachings on sexuality. I do not agree, I have tried to agree but just don’t. I planned to give my doubts to God and it wasn’t something that would stop me from converting.

I’m lucky because my birth control is medically necessary. I put NFP out of my mind because I will never need to do it and didn’t expect to be grilled on it.

Since we need to take the FOCCUS test and go over the answers with our priest (I also believe the retreat we’re required to do will also bring NFP up) my opinion on NFP will probably come up.

I’m not going to lie to a priest just to get married. Could the priest refuse to marry us because of my (our) opinion on birth control?

EDIT: I accept the teachings. I am converting because I trust church teachings more than my mind. I said “disagree” because that is the unfortunate truth, not because I think the church is wrong.

I watched my sister wait “until they’re ready” and she ended up changing a four and five year old’s giant poop diapers. It was disgusting and I told my fiancé we’re not going to wait that long when we have kids.

My sister ended up having to force them to potty train for school because they wouldn’t allow kids who aren’t potty trained to start kindergarten. She complained but I thought it was 100% reasonable.

She never got any signs they were ready like she wanted. Seems to me like she could’ve saved herself and us a lot of smells and trouble if she hadn’t waited.

I see people online mention they had to wait until their kids were “ready” all the time. I see them complain about potty training guidelines for schools and daycares. I see teachers complaining online about how kids aren’t potty trained anymore too.

My mom told me she’d never heard of that and you’re supposed to start around two to three years old. Is this a new thing or what? Why?