r/AskParents

Hi everyone, I’ve been thinking about starting swimming lessons for my child, but I’m a little confused about what age is actually best to begin.

Some parents around me started really early, while others say it’s better to wait until kids are older and can follow instructions properly.

I don’t want to pressure my child too early, but I also feel swimming is an important life skill and it’s better to start at the right time.

For parents who’ve already gone through this what age worked best for your child? Did they enjoy it easily or take time to adjust?

How would you feel if your daughter says she wants to become a gamer & streamer instead of getting a job after graduating university since the job market is too competitive and she claims that she wants to do what she likes? I mean, what you pop up on your head at that instant?

Hello, kinda new to Reddit so I’m sorry if the post is in the wrong place or it’s typed out wrong. We are recently a family of 5, Me dad (27) my wife (25) oldest boy (4) oldest daughter (2) and newborn daughter. I’ve never had this problem with the other 2 kids we have, but with our newborn I’ve been struggling to wake up when she cries at night and it’s driving my wife to hate me. Our newborn is extremely quiet when she cries, when my wife hears a peep out of her she wakes up immediately but I don’t for some reason. I want to help and I want to take the load off of her but I don’t know what to do or try. I talked to her about setting alarms to wake myself up throughout the night but my wife said it would just wake her up even more. With our last baby it was the complete opposite, I did every night feeding and did everything at night for her but our newborn daughter doesn’t wake me up in the slightest with her light cries and I’ve now got multiple angry middle of the night texts from my wife expressing her hatred tword me not hearing the baby. I’ve asked for her to wake me up but she says what’s the point if shes already awake. Im the only income and she’s a stay at home mom, i want to take the load off her as much as possible but im failing at waking up at night and failing at splitting the 3-5 hours a night i get at home between our toddlers that need someone to get up and help constantly, the newborn, doing the chores, and cooking dinner. I work 7 days a week and I am usually getting up and leaving the house by 4 am to get to work so there is 2 night feedings Im missing every night so far. i try to focus on the toddlers when I am home so my wife can heal and sit with the newborn as i get up and do the playing and helping of the toddlers. I honestly just want to be a good dad and I just feel like I’m failing at being a family of 5. Any tips on what to do so I can wake up for the baby? Or any tips on what I can do to be an even better dad? I’m open to all criticism, my kids and my wife are my entire motivation for life and I feel like I’m failing them as a whole.

EDIT: Okay I decided to make an edit because I’ve had a lot of the same questions. The baby sleeps in a bassinet between us in bed, we tried the bed side on my side of the bed like we did with the last child, our last child wouldn’t take a bottle or calm down when my wife tried to help, I had to do it all and it was extremely rough especially when I go to bed at 10 so I can be up by 4 to head to work but I was okay and am still okay with doing that again, but my wife didn’t like that arrangement after the first night of them being home so we switched. Our daughter is just extremely quiet when she does cry sometimes it’s hard to hear her with the bedroom fan on so we’ve had to keep that off so I can try to hear better. She is just fed up with the lack of sleep, I’ve offered to just sleep on the couch and having the baby in a bassinet next to me but she says if I don’t hear her now what would make me think I’ll hear her in the living room (fair point) so she dosent want to do that because if I don’t wake up she has to walk across the house if she does hear her. Idk I’m just lost and looking for answers to help without making my wife even more upset over the situation.

My almost 8 month old, active baby, gets into a crying fit and typically doesn’t stop unless I hold their hands and walk with them. They are a wobbly walker, not crawling, sitting, only putting to stand with my hands. They have a push walker but aren’t ready for that, and I am opposed to sit-in walkers.

Any tips on how to deal with them?

My dad is a talking machine

There hasn’t been an hour he’s kept quiet he talks NON STOP for HOURS AND HOURS ABOUT MONEY AND MONEU AND WORK AND JOB AND IM TIRED. I literally feel like crying because he won’t shut up for a min I get headaches. He doesn’t care if I’m eating or drinking or literally doing anything he will talk and talk and talk and talk forever I’m SICK OF IT. It’s suffocating me HOW DO I DEAL WITH HIM. I literally started isolating myself in my room because I can’t even drink a cup of coffee without him going on for hours I can’t watch tv I can’t chew my food because he stops me mid eating I can’t do anything he won’t shut up I don’t wanna tell him to shut up i don’t wanna hurt him but this is INSANE HE WONT SHUT UP FOR A MIN HES GOT ENDLESS WORDS I DONT GET PEACE UNLESS I LOCK MYSELF IN MY ROOM .

I was just pondering how I would navigate this hypothetical, as it could be very complex. Depending on the situation I can see it as a fine balance of not wanting to take away your child's friendship, but also maybe wanting to manage/minimise the influence of that parent on your child?

I'd be very interested to hear any anecdotes or how you would approach this if it were to happen.

I’m organizing my child’s birthday party for the first time since starting school and I honestly didn’t expect the RSVP part to be this confusing. Some parents reply in the class WhatsApp group, some text me separately, a few answer days later through Instagram, and others mention it quickly during pickup without ever properly confirming.

I started looking into digital birthday invitations because trying to keep track of replies across multiple apps was becoming harder than I expected, but now I’m wondering if most parents already have a system for this that I just don’t know about yet. How do you normally handle birthday invitations and RSVPs without losing track of people?

With this age of so many career paths being reshaped, are you still encouraging your high school age kids who want to go to college to prepare to go to college? What areas of study do you think are still worth it?

I am a representative of HDFC Pension. I have an activity to complete. I need to understand why parents are not choosing NPS Vatsalya for their kids.

To brief everyone else,

NPS Vatsalya is a govt. Of India initiated scheme for the kids from age 0-18. It is market linked giving it higher growth potential as compared to Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana. Moreover this is for both boy and girl child.

When comparing with mutual funds, first thing is lower fund management cost, which is on average 0.30 %. Another benefit over mutual funds is the tax that one needs to pay on withdrawal. For Mutual funds, one needs to pay LTCG(12.5%) when gains exceed 1.5 L after one year of keeping it invested.

In NPS Vatsalya, the whole amount at withdrawal remains tax free, as there is no income of child. If corpus is less than 8L, one can get 100% lumpsum. If it is greater than 8L, the upto 80% can be taken as lumpsum taxfree and remaining 20% will act as Pension for life for the child.

If there is no exit till 21, then this account will transition to Tier 1 NPS Account of the child.

For old tax regime, under section 80ccd1(b), the parents can also get maximum 50000 tax deductions (apart from corporate contribution towards nps)

I think if I can engage more audience, maybe that will help in this. How can I reach more schools or daycare centers to conduct a session for nps vatsalya for the parents?

Hiii

I have to convince my parents for college trip. Not by clg ofc...but my parents won't ever allow my for a trip including boys n girls both...I don't want to break their trust but it I am dead sure they won't let me go if I speak the truth....how to convince them

They can allow me after severe requests to go on clg trip by the clg, but my mom knows one of the prof in my clg (she doesn't teach me though)..

Actually executable suggestions needed

My 4 year old had a strange episode last night and I’m looking for shared experiences/outcomes while we wait for follow-up.
She had mild congestion/postnasal drip during the day but otherwise acted normal. no fever. Middle of night she woke up saying she was seeing mosquitos/bugs/webs, then later ants/flies/purple or brown spots. At one point she even said she saw Peppa Pig. She would sometimes stare around the room/periphery looking for bugs.

Important details:
• She was awake, coherent, recognized us, followed commands, talked normally, and responded when touched/spoken to.
• No obvious seizure-like movements, no loss of consciousness, no weakness, no vomiting, no headache.
• Symptoms seemed heavily tied to being in bed / waking up / dark bedroom environment.
• She continued intermittently mentioning bugs/spots between \~3–7am while in the bedroom and couldn’t sleep, but once we got her dressed and out of the house she stopped mentioning it entirely. It came back again when we tried to put her back to nap.
• She then acted completely normal for the rest of the day for \~12 hours (playing Legos, watching iPad, car rides, normal interaction) with zero complaints after waking up and getting out of the bedroom

Has anyone had similar episodes in preschoolers? Especially bug/ant/spider visual experiences around bedtime/waking that seemed to last a couple hours and they seemed awake? What ended up being the diagnosis or outcome?

I follow all school expectations and rules regarding illness. My child in particular is only in preschool and so the illness policy is directly laid out in the parent handbook.

However, I still send her when she has a runny nose. Kids get runny noses. Or a light cough.
I won’t send her if she’s had a fever or if she’s clearly showing she’s uncomfortable.

I’m not kidding when I say every. time. I have picked her up, her face is covered in painfully dry boogers
Am I in the wrong?
This is what I sent to the administration:

“Consistently when I have picked ___ up from school she has had painfully dry boogers on her face. She is capable of wiping her nose when prompted, but if you notice a lack I’ll work on it more with her. If you feel as if her runny nose is unmanageable I would appreciate further communication so I can pick her up. Thank you!”

I know kids are kinda gross and teachers have a lot they’re focused on but every day with terrible snot on her?
Do I just keep her home for every runny nose???

Before I start, I just want to say that I’m not trying to upset anyone with this post, I just need help understanding.

Basically, my friend group has had a lot of sleepovers for the past year or so, and I’ve never been allowed to join because I am dating one of them. But I don’t understand why. I’ve been so open and honest about everything with my parents to the point I’m oversharing. I literally asked them for permission to kiss my boyfriend for the first time. I’m definitely not trying to do anything inappropriate, and neither is he. And besides, we aren’t going to be alone. Two other friends will be there. Maybe even my brother.

My parents say that they trust me, but that I’m also a hormonal teenager, and they know what that’s like. But I’m not them, so why do they get to decide that I can’t control myself? I’m not oblivious to the consequences.

All I’m asking for is a reason I can understand. I have PDA, so I hyper fixate on the purpose of rules. To me, a good rule would protect me or someone else from something that is actually likely to happen. But the only reason they can give me is that no other parent would allow this. And even if that is true, that still doesn’t help me understand why. Aside from that, they said that the other parents involved should know that me and my boyfriend are dating. But my boyfriend has asked to keep that a secret for now because his parents are very judgmental and he doesn’t want them to start making comments about me, so I want to respect that. And either way, if they know or not doesn’t really change anything. Nothing bad will happen regardless.

I’m sorry if this all sounds dumb and spoiled of me. I love my parents, and I know they’re really just trying to do what’s best for me. I just can’t understand why they are saying no, and it’s making me constantly stressed and frustrated. I don’t think it’s fair that my parents get to just decide whatever they want even if they don’t have an understandable reason.

So can someone give me advice? Is there anything I can say or do that might convince them? Or can someone try to help me understand why I can’t?

My daughter turns 5 this month and we signed her up for an all day YMCA camp. As the camp approaches we are starting to get pretty nervous about it. She’s never been to a camp before, let alone full day. They’ll be going on field trips and she’s never been on a school bus and doesn’t have any friends we know of joining her. I feel bad just dropping her off for an entire day in a new environment like that. How old were your kids when they went to their first all day camp?

I notice that I have to wash with exfoliating and sponge every time. Because when she sweats the odor is really noticeable. I have to check with her pediatrician?

Hi parents, need advice.

Going round bfs for a sleepover, ask my mum about it she is fine as long as transport is all good, then ask about staying two nights. This is when our texts coming more passive aggressive on her end, mind you she is seeing it as me and my bf being attached or something (for context, me and bf both doing work experience, havent seen each other) - but I just eant to see him, yes I miss him, but she was like "not being funny youve not even been apart a week", further emphasising my point its like she thinks im attached to him, which annoys me cause im not. She even at the end of this text says "but whatever." I dont know if she was trying to do something there or whatever but I saw it as silly and passive aggressive for no reason. She then also told me not to be pissy if they (rest of my household) do somethinf and I miss out, because she doesn't want my brothers missing out on fun cause im not here on the weekend/bank Holiday. I have made the choice ti go to my bfs, if I was to become pissy that would be stupid. It feels as if she views me as, not only attached to him, but dumb or something - which i don't think she does.

Just sometimes it feels like she gets reallt annoyed about my relationship when I just want to spend time with him, which we do a lot of usually but not to a concerning amount, I do spend a lot of time at home too as im worried on jot being there on my free time with my little brothers - but shes never raised an actual discussion on how much time I spend with him but shes acting, in my head, as if two nights is ludicrous just because I wont be home for 2 nights. I hope someone understand what im on about in this post, I sort of rambled. I can answer any questions and cease confusion if thst is helpful as j understand my rambling may be a bit confusing.

I (20F) recently had a break up and was forced to move back in with my parents after living with my previous boyfriend's parents. My parents are verbally and sometimes physically abusive. My mother is already threatening to kick me out. I have been belittled and threatened. I have been thinking of contacting my previous boyfriend's parents for help. What should I do?

I’d like to know of anything i could start doing when my first baby is born so that when they are an adult they have keepsakes to look at.

Pictures and videos, diaries documenting their daily life, a baby box eg.

all ideas welcome!

I think my mom is the most beautiful person ever, and she’s never ever ever made appearances something that was an overly important aspect of life. Growing up she, of course always called me beautiful, but made a point to never negatively comment on herself or her body around me as well as never commenting on my own body.

Now that i’m an adult (26) she’s a little more open about her insecurities with me. it’s not something she dwells on (with me at least) or something she makes to seem like a big deal to her, but it seems she does not feel beautiful or desirable. It’s not that that’s a top priority for her, but everyone wants to feel beautiful in their own skin.

she recently got a bad haircut she hates and i think it may have acted as a trigger or something because she has been very very sad since coming home. She’s been trying to hide the fact that she’s crying and doesn’t seem to want company.

i brought home a lot of things she could use to try and work with the hair, various products and accessories but she wasn’t interested in trying anything out tonight.

what else can i do, not just in this situation alone, but consistently to make her feel beautiful? there are very few things in my life that have broken my heart like this, i can’t stand to see her think of herself that way, i want her to feel beautiful inside and out

any moms out there, what’s something that would make you feel more beautiful and seen that i could potentially try to integrate into my moms life? any advice is greatly appreciated

Edit: sorry i’m not sure how i’m supposed to edit! but the haircut is especially making her upset because of how short it is. She had cancer 6 years ago and she said it feels like she’s right back to the start with growing it out again :(