u/throwawayacc12021

Im 19, my mom and I have always been strained, but she's very strict about boys (Latin household, oldest daughter of 3.) When I asked for permission to go on one date my summer before uni freshman year, i got grounded and punishment def exceeded the crime. The crime being : asking for permission to go on a date. I lost my entire summer, couldnt see my friends, totally grounded.

I learned that obeying her rules got me grounded, and I am a very well established adult. I will be graduating with my BS in psych in 2027 (if I choose to, this is 2 years early to my expected graduation because I took insane amounts of AP/DC classes) but I chose to add on a second paralegal license and am graduating in Fall 2027. 1.5 years early. I've won competitions in theatre (in HS since I just started uni) I graduated magna cum laude with multiple chords. My point is, I'm not some irresponsible bummy kid. I've worked multiple jobs, I've had leadership roles.

I'm going to law school around 21-23 depending on finances. I'm aiming for T14's, Yale, Harvard. I'm establishing good ties with professors and directors of legal programs. I do well for myself man.

I met a guy my first day of uni and fell hard. He was everything I wanted, my physical type, european (I'm in America so that was a wtf) smart, kind. I decided that day that my mom was not going to ground me for asking permission because I was not going to do so. We got together for a year (coming up soon) she found out a few days ago.

I understand I lied. I understand that is wrong, however I am 19 and am moving along life very fast with my degree, license, career etc. I am entitled to date if i want no? I respect my parents, they fund my life, and I love them so much but I couldn't let the connection I felt fall between my fingers.

She's now ignoring me. She hasn't spoken to me in 36 ish hours. She told me sister she felt 'detatched emotionally' from me. She doesn't want me to date, she switches the rules on dating all the time. First she said 18+ I can date freely (I asked, got grounded) then 21+ then 24+. Is this not unrealistic? I always thought me and her would end up estranged or speak rarely. I never imagined it being so soon and so young. I love her dearly, but she has lacked kindness towards me in many ways. She says raising me was traumatic but never stopped to consider how her words hurt me or why I acted out as a child (depressive disorder and childhood schooling abuse.)

I woke up and saw she blocked me on instagram. She hasn't directed a single sentence my way. I never thought she'd react by cutting me off like this. In my opinion, I'd be hurt but also question why my daughter doesn't feel safe to speak to me. I've never been emotionally intimate with her, those things got used against me. I understand I shouldn't have lied but for fucks sake I'm not 12 right?

Parents, how would you react to this? And how would you like yoir daughter to fix it? Breaking up isn't an option, he's very good to me and I refuse :p

Context: we've been engaged a year and his (M30) family is obviously incredibly important to him. His younger brother (19yrs old) and I (F25) have always gotten along. He's very sweet, and sometimes he makes jokes I find a bit hurtful however I am neurodivergent with severe RSD so I may just be dramatic.

I had a falling out before we started dating with a childhood friend. I struggle to make friends, and she was my best one. I grew up with her and had a decade of memories with her. When we fell out, it was possibly the worst pain of my life and it still is. I struggle to make friendships, I've always been weird to others and left out no matter how many books on body language and socializing I read. He is well aware of how sensitive this topic is for me even now that a year has passed. I've suffered a lot. I can't even handle her name being mentioned in conversation.

A few weeks ago, my fiance's brother saw me throw away a bunch of letters and cards and items I had shared or bought with her. This included stuffed animals, toys, pictures, wrappers from a treat shared, receipts, etc. He commented on how he thought it was essentially kind of heartbreaking to see and basically had a mindset of 'why or how could you ever do that?' In my opinion, this is MYYYYY friendship breakup. I am allowed to mourn however I want.

Today we went on a walk all together and the brother mentioned this to him, they both started saying how I shouldnt have done it, and how it was kind of dramatic and wrong. My fiance's brother was the one kind of going off, and they were both speaking over each other rather loudly so I snapped. Let me be clear, I did NOT yell. I KNOW when I yell, I did mildly take on a stern tone and maybe raise my voice because they both kept cutting me off but I did NOT yell. I told them I didn't expect them to understand the depth of the friendship breakup and thatif I wanted to tear our gifts and memories apart I would do so.

I went off for a bit sternly saying how she had essentially broken my trust and I was still mourning and that I wanted to handle this how I know best: cutting everything related to her off.

He told me I was very harsh and mean and to calm down or things would be over if I spoke to his brother like that. I was caught off guard because I know when I am being aggressive, and I wasn't. He also knows how sensitive this topic is to me and he didn't step in once to say 'maybe we shouldn't discuss this."

I am also just as human as any other neurotypical, why aren't I allowed to show negative emotion as well? I offered to apologize and said I hadn't meant to be aggressive. He's angry I got stern and 'agressive, but imo all I did was make it obvious this topic was off limits and maybe I was a bit too harsh, however I never swore or raised my voice. It feels like he isn't considering my emotions in this topic being brought up, or with everyone critiquing my way of mourning/handling the emotions. He hasn't spoken to me this morning and I feel incredibly stressed, I don't know if I should reach out to the brother and apologize because sometimes my fiance gets mad if I make it obvious tonothers ae are arguing.

I've never had a disagreement with anyone in his family either. I'm not stupid, if my in-laws say something I don't like I shut up because I prefer to keep the peace. This is the first time I've opened my mouth about a topic because of how personal it is. It felt a bit extreme for him to immediately jump to a breakup when I've never been disrespectful and I strongly believe I was NOT disrespectful when the argument happened either.

AITA

Update: it appears his brother didn't even find me agressive because apparently he 'didn't notice I was upset but apologize anyways.' Now I am very confused and would like to know what social cue I missed and to respond with.

Context : we've been engaged a year and his (M30) family is obviously incredibly important to him. His younger brother (19yrs old) and I (F25) have always gotten along. He's very sweet, and sometimes he makes jokes I find a bit hurtful however I am neurodivergent with severe RSD so I may just be dramatic.

I had a falling out before we started dating with a childhood friend. I struggle to make friends, and she was my best one. I grew up with her and had a decade of memories with her. When we fell out, it was possibly the worst pain of my life and it still is. I struggle to make friendships, I've always been weird to others and left out no matter how many books on body language and socializing I read. He is well aware of how sensitive this topic is for me even now that a year has passed. I've suffered a lot. I can't even handle her name being mentioned in conversation.

A few weeks ago, my fiance's brother saw me throw away a bunch of letters and cards and items I had shared or bought with her. This included stuffed animals, toys, pictures, wrappers from a treat shared, receipts, etc. He commented on how he thought it was essentially kind of heartbreaking to see and basically had a mindset of 'why or how could you ever do that?' In my opinion, this is MYYYYY friendship breakup. I am allowed to mourn however I want.

Today we went on a walk all together and the brother mentioned this to him, they both started saying how I shouldnt have done it, and how it was kind of dramatic and wrong. My fiance's brother was the one kind of going off, and they were both speaking over each other rather loudly so I snapped. Let me be clear, I did NOT yell. I KNOW when I yell, I did mildly take on a stern tone and maybe raise my voice because they both kept cutting me off but I did NOT yell. I told them I didn't expect them to understand the depth of the friendship breakup and that if I wanted to tear our gifts and memories apart I would do so.

I went off for a bit, NOT YELLING, but sternly saying how she had essentially broken my trust and I was still mourning and that I wanted to handle this how I know best : cutting everything related to her off.

He told me I was very harsh and mean and to calm down or things would be over if I spoke to his brother like that. I was caught off guard because I know when I am being aggressive, and I wasn't. He also knows how sensitive this topic is to me and he didn't step in once to say 'maybe we shouldn't discuss this."

I am also just as human as any other neurotypical, why aren't I allowed to show negative emotion as well? I offered to apologize and said I hadn't meant to be aggressive. He's angry I got stern and 'agressive,' but imo all I did was make it obvious this topic was off limits and maybe I was a bit too harsh, however I never swore or raised my voice. It feels like he isn't considering my emotions in this topic being brought up, or with everyone critiquing my way of mourning/handling the emotions. AITA?

Alright ive been on and off with this since I was ib middle school, but for the past 5-6 months i have been very consistent. My back hair is a lot thinner, my legs barely grow hair and if they do it is in random patches I can easily shave. Arms also showed great improvement.

So why in gods green heavenly forsaken earth are my underarms STILL growing back SUPER quick and just as thick??? Ive been using it consistently there too, i am latin with thick black hair but its like my under arms are inmune to ALL hair removal. I tried waxing, and i got NADA out. I finally caved and just pluckrd them out *would not reccomend, very painful, quite some blood involved* and what i DID discover is that quit a few of the hairs i plucked came out as doubles? Almost as if each follicle grew two hairs instead of one. Im not sure if thats even possible, but if so then what is the best course of action for my underarms? Even with this machine, thats the only body part that grows back exponentially quicker and while I have less than I did years ago, I still think its odd how Im at a stand still in progress and the hair wont reduce further.

🥲 help me please, the hair growing back is so uncomfortable and summer is around the corner. Thank you guys!