u/togeluvr

i'll never fall in love with, be attracted to, or have a romantic relationship with a 3d person.

it seems like a simple realization.

"oh, okay. guess i'll live my life differently then."

so then why does it hurt so much? i saw my friend going to the beach with her boyfriend. it looked wonderful. i'm so, so happy for her. i really am.

my older friend got married. i hope he's happy forever and ever.

i hold no hate in my heart towards non-fictos. i never will. but i hate the world for establishing romance as the norm. and i hate myself for wishing i could have it.

i can do the same. me and my f/o can go to the beach. we can get married. people say it to me, too. "you can go to the beach with your f/o. you can marry him too. what's stopping you?"

but it will never ever truly be the same. he's not here with me. he's not truly there with me at the beach, laughing as we wash sand out of our hair. he'll never feed me our wedding cake as my friends and family clap and cheer.

i've finally found love. i love my f/o. i love him to the ends of the goddamn earth, and i wouldn't do a thing to change that.

but the future with him seems bleak, and hopeless. i come home to him after a long day of school. later in life, i'll come home to him after a long day of work. but at the end of the day, i'll always only be talking to myself, and not to him.

"don't compare yourself to others," i'm often told as well. but i know this. i can't live a normal life with a 3d human. i already know this.

i can go on and on about how much it hurts, but the hardest part of this all is coming to terms and accepting that i'm fully ficto. nope, i won't go outside and one day randomly meet the love of my life. i'll never have what my friends have, what the world seems to have. i feel empty, hopeless and lost.

this has been on my mind a lot.

similarly to how homosexual people have "compulsive heterosexuality", and end up compulsively getting with people of the opposite sex because of social expectations, i feel like i have that but with real life people in general.

all my friends have boyfriends, crushes, or dating/talking stages except for me. they seem so happy talking about them, and lately, i want that more than anything.

i've found myself compulsively "picking" a random guy (usually one who reminds me of my f/o), talking to him "romantically" just to feel something. because i really want to fit in and have love too. eventually, the guy i'm talking to disappoints or rejects me, (and of course i realize im not actually into him because im aroace) and things fade.

i'm not sure what to do about this, because if i'm not talking to someone in that way, i feel left out of social circles, and i feel inferior to others. on top of that, i just feel extremely romantically lonely to the point it's physically painful (like i can feel it in my chest)

anybody else struggle with this or have advice? i've been really down lately because of it. also my DMs are open if you have more personal questions

like the title states, i have a pretty conservative taiwanese family. they think im cishet, and expect me to get a husband and have kids. at every family gathering, they constantly are talking about "when you have a husband.." "we'll help you with your children.." theyre the type of family who thinks women should find a good man to take care of them and lock them down and reproduce, yada yada.

i'm aroace and fully ficto, so having a marriage and children is definitely off the table.

so far i've told them that i'm focusing on my career and college, since i'm 20 years old and a junior in college. but as i get older, the pressure will increase, and i'm worried i might be cut off or scrutinized from the family.

i won't get too into it, but i love my family and wouldn't want to disappoint them. at the same time, i need to live my life honestly as an aro ace person.

some options are (and these probably suck but thats why im asking yall)

1. tell them about my partner. "yup, he's japanese! yup, he's rich!" but eventually they'll ask to see a picture or meet him. and i can't exactly do a ritual to summon satoru gojo or i would've tried that already.

2. tell them i'm 'focusing on myself', an extremely time-sensitive excuse that will last me until graduation, and then i have to focus on 'finding a husband'.

3. tell them i'm seeing someone, and it can be a real life male friend. lavender marriage type of situation. the only thing is that we wouldn't be getting married and having kids so that would be hard to fake anyways.

telling them the truth isn't really an option unfortunately.

hi hi, like the title says, i want to make more ficto friends because it feels very isolating in a world where nobody understands fictosexuality.

my therapist recommended i meet other people who identify as ficto to feel less lonely!

i'd love to connect with other fictos and talk about our relationships!! feel free to shoot me a dm, or a discord server, or anything! we can yap about our f/os together ♡!

im 20, so no minors pls !!

i tagged this as nsfw in case anyone was uncomfortable w the mention of sexual stuff.. ><

i'm fully aroace but have an extremely high romantic and sex drive. because of this i often struggle because i'm repulsed by the idea of doing anything romantic or sexual with real life people, but also can't fulfill the need for cuddles, sex or kisses or dates unless i do it with real life people.

i don't really know the solution to this. something like a body pillow or plushie hardly does it for me and serves more of an aesthetic purpose than a functional one.

i've tried having a queerplatonic/fwb situation with a friend, just to fill the need, but as soon as we laid down together i became very scared and went home...

i had friends jokingly say 'just close your eyes and pretend it's him', but also not really a feasible solution.. ;﹏;

also, my physical life with my f/o is very particular. i have the things i like, he does too, and i can't really imagine anyone 3d being able to replicate our dynamic.

any other high romantic/sex drive aroace fictos have any advice?

i'm in college as a ficto! and it's very difficult. it's a time where everyone wants to explore and date and fall in love with 3d people. and i can't do any of that, and i'm often asked "what will you do when you get older? you can't live like this forever."

but logically, i can, and i have to as i was born aro ace. (with the sole exception...)

older fictos, what DO you do when you get older? i'm also asking this because i'm really discouraged tonight and yearning for my partner. i want to grow old with him but i also don't know... how.