Unclear if I’m experiencing Dissociation or just maladaptive daydreaming (or both)
Hello! I’m partially here to talk, but if anyone wants to share their experience feel free to do so! It might help bring me some clarity to my own experience lol.
So, ever since I was a kid I have had what I believe to be maladaptive daydreams. I spend the majority of my life in my head thinking of different scenarios and a different version of myself with different lives.
This daydreaming is pretty chronic. I know what I am thinking is not real, but it is pretty intrusive. I find I sometimes feel watched because in my mind the people in my daydreams are actually there. I often mumble “to myself” but it’s really what I’m saying in my daydream. These things feel out of my control.
Which brings me to my main point !!!!!!!!!!!!! Back to it being chronic, since I almost always have a daydream happening in my head, I very rarely sit on my own with my thoughts. Once in a blue moon I am startled into a weird clarity where I realize that I’m not wherever I am in my head, I’m on my own in my room in my house. I feel like I’m never fully present in a giving moment, because I’m running a dialogue in my head to someone I’m pretending is there with me.
Does anyone else do this? Does this count as disassociation?
Thank you so much for reading and any comments you may leave