So I am 2 years post, had a follow-up MRI in May. I was a smaller breasted woman, and the lumpectomy was pretty easy overall. I've gained about 30 pounds after it all. But a few days ago, after I pulled on my daily tank-top (it's super hot where I live)-it's looks kind of mutilated. The surgery cut around my nipple, and it now kind of looks like it's inverting. I'm not too worried(MRI w/in 2 months), but I feel super upset.
It's been cumulative over 30 years, but the first (definitely the hardest) was dad, then my sister, and in December, mom. She was 95, died according to her wishes- which meant- the last 3 years she basically was a vegetable. I'm not sure why I suddenly feel so alone- I did everything right. Everything right as in, legally, financially, morally . Why do I feel so numb. It pisses me off- can I get a break?
Thanks to all for the thoughtful responses. I'm in the US, thankfully with decent healthcare insurance. The thought of starting a mental health journey, with the outcome of a 30 something, counseling me, does not appeal. At all..
Update: I was able to make an mental health appointment today. Feeling grateful I can get in next week. And grateful for the kindness here.