u/trishapafisha08

Recently I broke no contact after reading some very sad posts on my adopted mother's Facebook.. She had stated she was in a very bad place and was ready to end things when her dogs pass away.. she also expressed how she missed my daughter.. me being the kind hearted person I am decided to reach out in hopes that maybe my mom and daughter could have a real without my involvement as my child is 18 now..

Sadly I was met with childness, immaturity and the typical victim mentality.. I tried to brush it off and talk about other things but she would keep coming back to you don't forgive me, and you don't love me but still I tried to keep communication flowing.

Why im venting today.

Back in March my mother made a post saying happy birthday and crying about how much she missed my daughter . So after telling her how she could communicate with my daughter (18) ( daughter has ASD and developmental delays communication has to be on her terms ) I waited a month and a half to see if she would reach out to my daughter and nothing. I told her this was exactly what I didn't want in my daughters life. I told her that I was making the decision for my adult daughter and we will no longer reach out to her because my daughter deserves better than what I got growing up. Shes not going to talk shit online acting like im keeping my daughter from her to be a bitch)

Friday morning I was woken up to the most disgusting email accusing me of filling my daughters head with lies and half truths. Even went as far as gaslighting the abuse I had brought up as an example as to why I couldn't forgive her. Even ask How can you forgive someone who constantly fails to take accountability for destroying someones life.. I would never lie to my daughter about something as serious as abuse. I had age appropriate conversations as to why there was distance but she always had the opportunity to reach out if she wanted to. The fact is my daughter regardless of her disabilities is a very bright and intelligent young women. She has alwaus been aware of what goes on around her . I didnt have need to lie to her about abuse that she was old enough to witness and remember.

The most upsetting thing in all of this is the fact my mom does have some self awareness that she is the main issue in her life and the reason why she is alone EXCEPT when It comes to me. Im sick of being treated like the evil child when she doesn't even know me outside of the 4 years she had me befor she disolved the adoption and the 4 years we had somewhat of a realtionship around when my daughter was born.. but even thoes 4 years she was emotionally , mentally, physically abusive and once even attacked me sexually and put her hands down my shirt into my bra.. I eventually went non contact around 10 years ago because I didn't want my daughter to grow up like that.

not really looking for advice just needed to vent because im having a hard time not letting the email upset me even tho its been 2 days now. I don't know why i keep hoping that my mom takes accountability. The fact is when I was close to dying with cancer and had to get surgery to have tumors removed she was up in Mexico partying with strange men because that is what was important to her.. not me.. not her granddaughter.. infact she would rather have a pdfile in her life than her own daughter and granddaughter.. anyone that wont make her be accountable for the shitty person she is I guess..

Anyways if you got this far.. thank you for listening.. I had to get my feelings out and you all feel comfortable because you understand..

I applied for OW for myself and an adult dependant.. Does anyone know what the basic allowance amount would be?? I have been approved for 360 which is the amount for a single parent plus 1 child ( under 18 getting Child tax ) If we where a couple we would get close to 500 dollars but because shes my 18 year old disabled daughter we only get the same amount as a single mother?? Something just isn't adding up or maybe I dont understand.. 🤷🏻‍♀️