super dysphoric over summer
hello! i’m a trans man, have been for about 6 years (i’m 18), and i can say with confidence that this is the most dysphoric summer i’ve ever had. i’m back at home from my first year of college. i’ve made so many friends with other trans guys which has obviously been unbelievably great, but now i have to be home with my homophobic/transphobic parents for the next 3 months. thankfully, i’ve been out to my hometown friends all this time + they love me for who i am, but it’s been hitting me hard lately that because of my parents/fear of actually coming out to them, i won’t be able to medically transition for a while. i wish i had the balls (lol) to just come out to my parents, deal with the consequences, then start medically transitioning, but i REALLY don’t want to risk them not financially supporting me college-wise, shelter-wise, etc. i know how pretentious that sounds, but it really is my biggest fear. part of me wishes that they would just ask me straight up, “are you trans,” because then it would take soooo much weight off my back. also kinda unrelated, but all my hometown friends are cis girls/femme presenting, and with talks about going to the beach together and going swimming this summer, i’ve just been silently panicking bc i have ZEROOO idea on what to wear (maybe tape and swim trunks/swim shirt??). but anyway yeah, i’ve just been feeling super dysphoric and i can’t wait for it to go away