▲ 161 r/mash

Fan Theory: MASH is Hawkeye’s Tainted Recollection of Korea

My wife and I have watched and rewatched MASH countless times. We started developing this theory when we wanted to try to justify the glaring continuity issues throughout the show, and this is what we’ve come up with. We are not the only ones to have this idea. I mentioned it in a comment months ago and was informed that there are multiple versions of this fan theory, so I don’t want to make it sound like my wife and I are the originators of this theory. We decided against looking into the other versions of this theory until we have completed our “version” of it, so there are likely many more out there that are better fleshed out than ours, but this is the nuts and bolts of it…

One of the most frustrating parts of being a MASH fan and binge watching it has to be the almost deliberate lack of continuity in it. In reality, the lack of continuity is a result of having an 11 year show depicting a 3 year war, as well as the typical issues that arise with casting and maintaining a coherent story line over a decade.

Another one of my favorite shows is Hogans Heroes, which suffers from similar continuity issues. However, someone has gone to amazing lengths to create an episode guide in chronological order for HH that stands up fairly well to basic scrutiny. No matter how hard you try, it’s just not possible to do the same thing with MASH. So this is how we’ve justified it in our “head cannon.”

One of the underlying themes throughout all 11 seasons is how Hawkeye almost always come out smelling like a rose despite some fairly reprehensible character traits. He also comes off as a professional comedian, not just with his jokes but with his timing, delivery, etc. But there are a handful of episodes where he seems human and, dare I say, flawed.

The episodes that really led us to explore this were the interview episodes with Clete Roberts and Goodbye, Farewell, Amen. He doesn’t come off as a comedian in those episodes. He comes off as someone suffering from severe PTSD who is unsuccessfully using humor to cope with the horrors of war. And it’s not just a single line or scene. His interviews with Roberts and his time with Sydney in GFA are not funny. They are painful to watch. And specifically in GFA, he doesn’t seem like the main character of a sitcom. He seems like the subject of a documentary or a training video for counselors.

So we started wondering, what if those episodes aren’t the exceptions? What if they were displaying the “real” Benjamin Franklin Pierce? And if that was the case, how do we justify his portrayal in the rest of the series?

That’s how we came up with the theory. And tbh, it explains away many if not most of the errors, goofs, and lack of continuity prevalent throughout the series. Our viewpoint is that the series is Hawkeye’s retelling of his time in Korea, told through the lens of someone who has narcissistic and borderline personality disorders as well as PTSD.

The stories don’t have to make sense; the timelines don’t have to add up. They are all retelling of individual events or episodes from his time in Korea, not meant to be taken as gospel truth or investigated deeply for how they line up to other stories he has told. There’s an episode of King of the Hill where Peggy calls out Cotton for his WWII exploits against Nazi Germany and Imperial Japan being literally impossible given the timelines. He shrugs it off and realizes he was wrong, but not because he was lying. His stories were how he coped with the war, and they became his memories. Our theory is Hawkeye does the same.

There are a few episodes that seem to offer a peak behind the curtain to the “real” Hawkeye, but idk if I’d go so far as to say they completely fit the theory. Bananas, Crackers, and Nuts, Hawkeye, and Dr. Pierce and Mr. Hyde fit this mold. If you’re watching it like most people do, these episodes seem to highlight his eccentricities and suggest that maybe he went a little too far from time to time. Watching it using our theory, they appear to be an actual glimpse into his “real” character.

One thing that gives some backbone to our theory is that we rarely ever see any scenes/storylines without Hawkeye in them that couldn’t have been retold by him with second hand information from BJ or Klinger. Whether it’s escapes with Winchester or jeep trips with Margaret or fishing trips with BJ, all of the stories that don’t feature Hawkeye could have been relayed to him for him to retell.

I get that there’s no way the series itself was written from this frame of reference. But the more I dive into it, the more it seems to hold up. I’d love to hear other people’s opinions and evidence either for or against the theory. It’s definitely not perfect, but it holds up pretty well, at least for me. And it gives us another to keep watching the show.

reddit.com
u/tweakonomics — 1 day ago
▲ 35 r/mash

Whatever Happened to Aimee McPherson?

I’ve posted on here multiple times before about how my wife and I will choose a particular character or theme to follow each time we rewatch the series. It’s how I learned to really appreciate Larry Linville’s acting ability, realized just how interchangeable the nurses and their names were, and how we came to be convinced that the entire series minus a handful of specific episodes are Hawkeye’s narcissistic retelling of his time in Korea.

This time through, we’re doing deep dives (or at least shallow dives) on any of the historical or pop culture figures referenced in the show that we aren’t already familiar with. It’s actually a lot more time intensive than our other rewatches, but it’s been a lot of fun so far to see what cultural references that we missed out on.

A lot of the times, it’s simply looking up an actor or actress on Wikipedia or IMDb to see what they look like and what they starred in. Other times it lines up perfectly with the characterization of the MASH staff members, like Frank and Margaret referencing Father Coughlin or Reverend Davidson. I had never heard of either of them outside of MASH, and honestly thought that they were just throwaway lines until we looked them up and saw how well they matched Frank and Hot Lips’ uber religious personas in the early years.

But none of them have shocked me quite like Aimee McPherson. For reference, in Welcome to Korea, Frank and Margaret have this conversation right before Frank asks her if it would be ok to forge MacArthur’s signature and a personal message to him:
—Margaret, whatever happened to good
old meat-and-potatoes Christianity?
—Whatever happened
to Aimee McPherson?
—Poor soul went up in her plane
and was never heard from again.
—Frank, that was Amelia Earhart.
—Oh, yeah.

I’ve heard those lines dozens of times but never thought more about them since the joke was that Frank mistook someone with a similar name for the world famous Earhart. But McPherson’s story is absolutely wild. She was a pioneer in using mass media to broadcast an evangelical Christian message. And like many of the televangelists that would follow in her footsteps, she was caught up in an affair.

Only instead of weeping and asking forgiveness, she faked an elaborate kidnapping plot to cover up her affair. The scandals didn’t stop there, as she would eventually be found dead from an (accidental?) overdose of barbiturates. It’s truly a wild story, and well worth the time it takes to read her Wikipedia page.

If nothing else, it’s yet another reminder that you’ll never get to a point where you’ve watched MASH too many times

en.wikipedia.org
u/tweakonomics — 2 days ago
▲ 303 r/mash

Are Those Pearls from Frank?

I was watching Margaret’s Wedding for the umpteenth time and for some reason noticed that she was wearing a pearl necklace on her wedding day. Is this the same pearl necklace from Kim Chun Quoc’s famous Tiffany’s On Wheels?

In the season 3 episode “Payday,” she gets excited about the prospect of having such an elegant pearl necklace but can’t afford the asking price(s) for the authentic strand, and Quoc is out of his imitation strands. He tells her he just sold his last necklace to a major with a real fertilizer face.

Frank tries to pass off the imitation set that he bought as the real thing, but she’s able to trick him into swapping the necklaces so she gets the authentic strand and Louise will get the imitation.

The way Margaret acts about getting a real pearl necklace makes it appear that she doesn’t have one of her own, and the cheapness of her engagement ring (every third stone a diamond chip) makes me seriously doubt Donald bought her a real or imitation pearl necklace.

So my question is, is she actually wearing a gift from her affair with Frank while she’s getting married, with him standing right there as the best man? I get that it was a gift and she had no obligation to give it back to Frank, but…

Just a few episodes prior, in “Souvenirs,” she breaks into the swamp and subsequently beats Frank in a tussle while trying to recover a ruby ring that she had given him. He had (1) lied about still having the ring and (2) gotten it engraved to give to his wife.

While that lines up with Frank’s typical despicable self, it also establishes that she expected them to return things of value—specifically jewelry—that they had given each other during their relationship.

It seems like he would have pitched a ferret face fit to get the authentic expensive pearls back. And if she’s willing to resort to violence to get her ruby ring back, shouldn’t she have given the pearls back? And shouldn’t I be doing something besides expending significant mental energy over an inconsequential wardrobe decision from an episode from 50 years ago on a show famous for completely disregarding continuity in any form or fashion?

One last tidbit…I watched “Dreams” just to see if Margaret wore the pearls in that episode. She wears the same wedding dress, but the pearls are noticeably absent.

u/tweakonomics — 4 days ago
▲ 3 r/subway

Solved the Gift Card Transfer Problem, in typical Subway fashion

The new app update has had me frustrated beyond belief because of the inability to transfer gift card balances or to combine gift cards on an order. And after spending time on this sub, I know I’m far from the only one.

I have been utilizing cigarette rewards programs for the past few months to load up on $5 Subway gift cards. I work at several drug and alcohol recovery centers, and there is a seemingly endless supply of discarded empty cigarette packs with rewards codes on them. I collect them and once a week, enter them in to accumulate points.

The app change left me with more than a dozen $5 gift cards that I could no longer combine to order footlongs or anything else besides the four $3.99 six inch subs, so I’ve gotten more than my fill of ham & salami in the last month.

I tried nearly every route possible to get the gift cards combined, with zero luck. Talking to “Sammy” the AI customer support agent is possibly the most frustrating experience I’ve had online in months.

I probably should have just taken the loss and stopped eating at Subway, but the principle of the situation had really irked me. I have 15 gift cards with each having a balance of 69 cents (a six inch sub is $4.31 here), so it’s not like I was losing a lot of money.

I finally found a sort of solution. I emailed support@subway.com and told them about the issue their app and site have with no longer allowing balance transfers. This was not the first time I’d emailed them about this issue, but this time I added an incentive for them to actually respond. I asked them for assistance in combining my gift card balances, and let them know that my next option if they couldn’t help me would be to report them to the Georgia Attorney General’s Consumer Protection Division, which conveniently for me is actively investigating gift card fraud specifically.

Shockingly /s they responded this time. This is their response in full:

Thank you for reaching out to Subway®.
We want to apologize for any inconvenience you may be experiencing with the technical concern you brought to our attention.
Kindly provide the full gift card number to enable us to process the balance transfer. Additionally, please specify the card to which you would like the balance transferred.
Thank you for choosing Subway®.
Sincerely,
The Subway® Guest Experience Team

As a side note, the app doesn’t allow you to copy the gift card numbers, so providing them with this information was a little time consuming, but that’s exactly what I did. Now I’m waiting for them to combine my balances. This is not a sustainable solution, but I felt good from getting a small win.

I’m posting here to encourage everyone on this subreddit to do the same thing. Skip Sammy and everything else, reach out directly to Subway, make sure to mention that your next move will be to initiate a consumer fraud case with your state’s attorney general, and make them combine your available balances. If enough people do this and force them to spend a lot of manpower to respond and combine the gift cards “by hand,” I feel pretty certain that they’ll magically figure out an update to allow the balances to be transferred within the app again.

If there’s anyone that needs assistance or directions on what to do, I am more than happy to help. I have gotten to the point where I genuinely despise Subway’s corporate management because they seem to go above and beyond to make their franchisees and their customers miserable. I’m perfectly content with giving up my time to make their life a little (and I know it’s only a little) bit miserable.

reddit.com
u/tweakonomics — 11 days ago
▲ 60 r/mash

Does Klinger usually wear a padded bra?

My wife and I just finished watching the season 1 episode “Army-Navy Game.” In the closing scene, Radar approaches whom he believes to be a nurse that he hooked up with during the bomb scare, apparently to try to talk her into going for Round 2 now that the threat has passed.

The joke/gag as the credits begin to roll is that the “nurse” Radar approaches at the clothesline is actually Klinger. When he turns to answer Radar, you can see that Klinger has gotten himself homemade breast implants.

I know Klinger was only supposed to be a one-off character, and that his backstory changes significantly in the following seasons (not unlike most of the main characters), but I don’t remember ever seeing him using this particular attempt at trying to appear as a female before or since. The closest thing I can think of is his Queen of the Nile outfit that he wears to convince Col. Daniel Webster Tucker that he has cracked in the “April Fools” episode.

Does anyone remember any other instances of Klinger’s breast augmentation?

u/tweakonomics — 1 month ago
▲ 92 r/mash+1 crossposts

Help Name our Feline Ferret Faces

TL;DR summary—We’ve got three stray kittens that we will be trying to adopt out as soon as they’re weaned, so we don’t want to give them permanent names; our solution is to call all of them Frank Burns-related names for the few weeks they’re with us, and we need suggestions.

Our backyard has (against our wishes) become a makeshift nursery for stray cats to give birth. Several people near our neighborhood make a point to feed the strays, they just don’t bother with getting them fixed. We have a shed and a wooded area that are pretty well protected, and the mothers will show up, give birth, and nurse them for a few weeks before they go back out to add even more cats to the population.

My wife and I have tried to do our part to curb the population explosion by trying to familiarize the kittens with us (if we can get close enough to them) so that we can either adopt them out as soon as they are weaned or get them fixed when the time is right. We generally don't give names to stray kittens because our goal is to get them comfortable enough with us so as soon as they're weaned, we can try to give them away without losing significant amounts of blood.

Right now we’ve got three whose eyes just opened, and we’ve been able to get antibiotics for their eyes and get the fleas off them. They are all orange and look really similar, especially if they’re not standing together. We can't really tell any of them apart right now so we've decided that they will collectively be called Frank Burns, or his nicknames, or his insults. Right now Stink Fishpot and Snot!Snot!Snot! are playing on the logs but Nerts has retreated back into the mini jungle, probably to eat worms.

Help us add to our nickname list for these three chinless chipmunks and their midwestern devil of a mother. We guarantee that we will call them every name that is commented (as long as it is at least tangentially Frank Burns related). And…Go!

u/tweakonomics — 1 month ago

Will the Real Schiklgruber Please Stand Up?

***After reading u/bbqtom1400’s post earlier today about his brother Larry Hovis’s shenanigans with the Nazi uniform still on after leaving the set, it reminded me of this, and I commented on his post with a shorter version of this. If you haven’t read his posts about Larry Hovis, you’re missing out.***

This episode has one of my favorite Easter eggs in it. When Carter debuts his full outfit for the Heroes, Newkirk introduces him as something to the effect of “your enemy and mine” then says "Heil Schiklgruber.”

For years, I just assumed Newkirk was using a random German-sounding name for comedic effect. It made sense, especially since all of the Allies on the show seem to go out of their way to avoid referring to him (the actual Hitler) as “Hitler.”

It wasn’t until a few years ago when I was watching a WWII documentary that I found out Hitler’s actual surname at birth was Schiklgruber.

I was born in 1985, long after the initial run of Hogan’s Heroes wrapped up production, so I don’t know what was or wasn’t common knowledge at that time. Would most of their audience had known/picked up on the reference to Hitler’s original last name? Or, for that matter, is it likely that a British corporal would have known that?

u/tweakonomics — 2 months ago

Why did the turkey cross the road?

The poor guy was obviously confused by the crosswalk sign. The hand that signals pedestrians to stop looks suspiciously like the turkeys we drew in elementary school by outlining our fingers, and he seems intent on not breaking the law.

u/tweakonomics — 2 months ago

I’m in a dilemma where I’m trying to find bulk cook and serve jello pudding but can only find the instant variety in bulk. My first goal was to try to find a place to purchase it, but I have struck out. Now I’ve shifted gears and could really use this sub’s help. Is there a way I can cook instant jello pudding so that it has the texture and consistently of the cook and serve product?

Here is what I originally was attempting, to give context to why I’m asking such a ludicrous question:

My wife and I operate a long-term residential recovery program. We have a client who has discovered that Jello Cook and Serve Vanilla Pudding is his comfort food and that it actually reduces his anxiety & helps keep him sober. It’s not a traditional therapy for combatting a severe opioid and meth addiction, but if jello keeps him from relapsing, then bring on the pudding.

Here is the part I need help on. He specifically wants the cook and serve variety, which from what I understand has a version of cornstarch in it that requires heating. Whereas the instant kind has a modified cornstarch in it that doesn’t have to be heated, but does alter the texture of it. I go by Walmart once or twice a month to get all they have in stock. Even that doesn’t fully scratch his pudding itch.

I looked online to see about buying it in bulk, and I’ve found several options for large bags of Jello brand instant pudding mix, but I’ve had no luck finding the same bulk packaging for the cook and serve variety. Also, my client is comfortable financially, so he’s not trying to buy in bulk to reduce costs. It’s more about me not having to go on a weekly scavenger hunt while still getting him the one thing that brings him pleasure in an otherwise miserable part of his life.

Can anyone out there help me out with this? Am I searching for something that just doesn’t exist, or have I just been looking in all the wrong places? I would seriously appreciate any help I can get in this admittedly bonkers treasure hunt I’ve found myself on.

reddit.com
u/tweakonomics — 2 months ago

My wife and I operate a long-term residential recovery program. We have a client who has discovered that Jello Cook and Serve Vanilla Pudding is his comfort food and that it actually reduces his anxiety & helps keep him sober. It’s not a traditional therapy for combatting a severe opioid and meth addiction, but if jello keeps him from relapsing, then bring on the pudding.

Here is the part I need help on. He specifically wants the cook and serve variety, which from what I understand has a version of cornstarch in it that requires heating. Whereas the instant kind has a modified cornstarch in it that doesn’t have to be heated, but does alter the texture of it. I go by Walmart once or twice a month to get all they have in stock. Even that doesn’t fully scratch his pudding itch.

I looked online to see about buying it in bulk, and I’ve found several options for large bags of Jello brand instant pudding mix, but I’ve had no luck finding the same bulk packaging for the cook and serve variety. Also, my client is comfortable financially, so he’s not trying to buy in bulk to reduce costs. It’s more about me not having to go on a weekly scavenger hunt while still getting him the one thing that brings him pleasure in an otherwise miserable part of his life.

Can anyone out there help me out with this? Am I searching for something that just doesn’t exist, or have I just been looking in all the wrong places? I would seriously appreciate any help I can get in this admittedly bonkers treasure hunt I’ve found myself on.

reddit.com
u/tweakonomics — 2 months ago