u/txgrl308

I made a post here a few years ago when I was really struggling in my marriage. It was destroying my mental health. I couldn't see a way out, but so much has happened since then.

First, my husband quit drinking. Things slowly got more peaceful after that. I decided to finish college now that I was medicated, and he agreed to pay for it. I only had two semesters left, and I graduated magna cum laude in May of 2024 with a bachelor's degree in psychology. My plan was to go to grad school to be a play therapist, but I haven't gotten there quite yet.

For about a year, I was either a nanny or SAHM, and I helped my husband with his business. We fought less, and he started making more money. Things felt like they were improving.

Everything changed one night in July 2025 when I found him plastered on vodka and kratom seltzers. He became volatile enough that I asked my sister to come get the kids. He kept yelling inappropriate things, so I cajoled him into the shower to keep him away from the kids.

In the twelve minutes it took my sister to get to my house, he pulled me into the shower with him and repeatedly tried to force me to do something that I tried once years ago and have always said I would never do again. He knew I didn't want to do that thing. I went with the kids and my sister when she arrived. The kids still have no idea what really happened that night.

I knew then that the relationship was irretrievably broken, but I had a bunch of ducks to get in a row before I could get out. That September, my dad (a local divorce attorney) agreed to pay a colleague to represent me. I told my ex that I wanted a divorce, but I didn't give him a timeline because I needed a job before I could kick him out (I inherited the house from my late mother, so he's the one who had to go).

At first, I was a long-term sub at a preschool where I've worked off and on over the years. It was lovely to feel appreciated and competent again! While I was working there, my dad died suddenly in a car accident. I immediately put the divorce on pause. My sister and I had to tell our then-seventeen-year-old brother that his only real parent had died while he was a junior in high school.

By January, it became clear that I couldn't heal from any of this with my ex in my house. He found a rental about 45 minutes from my house and the kids' school, and he moved out the last day of February. He has the kids every Friday and every other Saturday/Sunday. He pays child support. Our divorce should be final in January. I kept the house and my inheritance from my dad. He kept the vehicles. We didn't have investments or 401k's or anything. When it came down to it, there wasn't that much to fight over.

Around that time, I got a job as a permanent sub at the charter school my kids attended, and I loved it. I realized that I need to be with other adults working together toward a common purpose, and education fits that bill. Unfortunately, the school ended up closing at the end of the year for financial reasons. I worked over the summer as a nanny, and the money from my dad helped us get by.

Last month, I was offered a job as a para in the special education department at a district school near my house, and they let my kids transfer schools to be with me. It's not perfect, but I LOVE my job! Between my paycheck and the child support, we are just making it now, and I'm so thankful every day that I get to live this beautiful new life with my amazing kids. They're still adjusting, and it's been hard at times, but they're also thriving in their new schools. I miss my dad, but I know he'd be happy to know that his money helped me get out of that marriage.