Am I experiencing a depressive or psychotic episode?
Hello, before you read, I want to say that Ive talked to professionals, my psychiatrist and therapist and they both had different answers so I decided to ask here.
This whole thing started like 3 weeks to a month ago. I finished my final and me and my psychiatrist decided it's time I taper of my medication. Ive been on 10mg olanzapine for a year and a half after my psychotic episode. Now im at 5mg.
The doctors at the mental hospital said it's probably a one time drug induced thing. I didn't take any psychoactive substances since then except alcohol occasionally. The loss of control and fallout after my episode were very traumatic and I never want to go through it again.
I had insomnia after lowering the dose. My doctor said it could be a sign of schizophrenia, my therapist said it very unlikely, since 5mg of olanzapine wouldn't help if I had schizophrenia.
I get anxiety almost every day. Im terrified of my thoughts. Sometimes I can't tell if im in a state of anxiety or if something is actually happening.
I thought a lot about how I let the algorithm control me and program me. I became a lot more insecure from doomscrolling. It's stealing my soul. I think these thoughts are reasonable, but it's a fine line between recognizing a problem and becoming paranoid.
My mental state is terrible now. I feel depressed all the time and can't find joy in things. Maybe it's because of the anxiety building up, or rebound from lowering my olanzapine dosage. Ive heard some people get depressed when coming off of this medication.
Any advice is appreciated.