Advice for commuting while being generally terrible?
Hi! I have picked up cycling for commute to/from work after never once riding a bike, as an adult.
Legally, where I live you are supposed to go on the bike lane, then road, then sidewalk, if the prioritized option is not available. There is maybe a kilometer of bike lanes in the entire city, none along my commute.
I feel like I am just too bad at cycling to be on the road. Takes a couple tries to start moving, can't go fast (both scared and physically too hard to speed up and hold myself upright&straight), keep feeling the bike start to veer off while I'm trying to go straight so I have to catch and push myself the other way to straighten myself. Ofc it is because I've been on this thing maybe a dozen times in my life by now, but I also do not hold high hope for improving too significantly, I am a generally uncoordinated person who walks into the doorframes and hipchecks tables. Maybe I'll get better because my arms get stronger and more used to holding myself, I sure hope so, but maybe not enough. Also rude drivers, also it's scary, also a lot of cars parked along the side of the road so there is nowhere to squeeze myself in without being either in front of a car or in the path of a potential opening door, also no shoulders whatsoever (but I feel like I could get good enough for going on the shoulder if there ever were one, that's not so concerningly close the the cars).
I can't really go on sidewalks all the time either even if I can accept breaking the law for my safety - I leave for work at five so there are zero people I could hit, that's good, but on the way back, there are so many, I feel like I'm bound to try to slow down, lose balance, and topple right into someone. Best I think I can do is going between apartment buildings, there are few people or moving cars there, but the city is also kinda crap here, some places it's going to be pretty significant detours to do that, wouldn't be surprised if I lost time doing that.
So, overall, is there any chance to get good enough to go in the road (bonus points if you're also from an insignificant russian city and know exactly how the things are here with people, ig), how long did it take you to get to that point if you also started cycling as an adult, is it even worth it or I should stick to walking (not too bad, 40 minutes on foot, 30 on the bike right now, just painfully boring and feels trice that long to walk), maybe it is just not a thing I can get into with my conditions? Any advice except steel my balls (the idea of ever going on the road is stomach-turningly terrifying, ngl), get signals/hivis (on it anyways), and hope practice does make me good and I'm just underestimating my potential (getting slowly better but yeah, still veering too much for comfort and not hopeful)?
A bit that is somewhat unrelated and is just talking. Why/how I am trying in the first place is I got a bike as an unwanted gift for my bd and decides hey, that's nice, getting places faster is nice, decided to learn, and realized that cycling in and of itself is very fun and I do like it, but I have nowhere to cycle recreationally, except a few boringly small parks that are also utterly without bikelanes and would be filled with people, and if I'm trying to go anywhere, I live in a spot where I have to go either on the road or on a busy sidewalk to get anywhere, there are no places with bikelanes, few enough people for me not to be nervous about riding into a pedestrian, or a way to get between building that won't be a massive detour. Whoever designed any part of this city, there is so much contempt for you in my heart. And thanks yall!