My LO is actually a pretty good person. He's gentle and caring. He tries to do the right thing and always thinks of others. I like to observe him being gentle, it is mainly the reason that he became my LO. I was wondering, however, has anyone been limerent and their person been kind of a crappy person?
I imagine him in the worst ways. The ways that make my soul ache and my heart mourn. I imagine his hands, the gentle yet rough feeling of his hands. I imagine them anywhere, everywhere, rubbing the need from my body. I think of knowing him,truly knowing. What makes him sad, what makes him angry, what he thinks about at night before he falls asleep, is it me? Has it ever been me? I have thoughts of having the freedom to touch him whenever I like, without having to come up with accidents or reasons. I envision pressing my head to his bare chest and listening to his heartbeat, his precious heartbeat. Worst of all, I imagine him wanting me back.
My LO is best friends with my boyfriend and it is torture. I love my boyfriend so much and I know that I do not actually have any real feelings for my LO, just the version of him I've made up in my head.
My LO does stuff that helps fuel my delusion, I'm quite shy and he'll take special interest to see how I am at group hangouts. He'll look at me intently when we talk, like he really cares about what I think. He asks for my opinion. It's all stuff that doesn't help my limerence, but I feel like I can't avoid him because it'll be rude. I also can't tell my boyfriend, he wouldn't understand.
I do not know what to do and I feel so guilty about it. I don't want to feel this way, I'm afraid one day my boyfriend might catch on, I can't help but look at my LO. I love to observe him, he moves so gently.