Panganay struggles
Rant lang. I know this is probably going to be mababaw of me but I get so fucking pissed when my mom keeps on making banggit “uy si ano doctor na” “uy si ano graduate na” when I had to stop and drop out of college because they couldn’t afford (wouldn’t) to make me continue uni. There’s also this feeling of jealousy inside of me because I was so smart, so fucking smart. Today I was so full of it and told her “you would have had a lawyer kung pinagaral moko” and she just laughed in an awkward tone. Now were both uncomfortable huh.
The other week binanggit pa nya yung dalawang na drop ko na subject when I was literally a fucking working student. Mind you, minsan 3 days akong walang tulog. Tangina sobrang hirap ng pinagdaanan ko. Triny ko ilaban pero at the end I just had to resort to working kasi hindi talaga kaya pag sabayin. I hate it. I fucking hate it pag pinapamukha nya sakin yung nakamit ng iba when it’s her fucking fault na I couldn’t finish college.
Dont fucking have kids if you cant afford them.