welp I got it
met a dude on tinder….uh oh…..didn’t really expect anything serious. just wanted to get to know someone and see where it went and have fun. I haven’t dated or had sex since feb, we matched, went out to eat for the first “date” got me flowers…we made out in the car first date, turned into me giving him a hand job. I wanted to leave so bad. I was so tired and uncomfortable. told him I really had to go and he begged me to stay and help him finish so he didn’t go home with blue balls.
still continued to see him after…3rd time seeing him I went over to his house (an hr away) I didn’t want sex, what I did want was oral, kissing, cuddling, touch…we smoked weed and drank. I wanted to lay down with him and kiss and receive oral and give…one thing turned into another. he ends up fingering me super hard and I start crying…he’s confused…asking where he went wrong…then we get back into kissing…I take off my clothes expecting oral (he had sent me reels of being an “eater” comments of “u must taste so good I can’t wait to eat it” and he flips us into 69…didn’t enjoy it but just took it. we pause again bc I fuckinh queefed and he asked if I farted…felt embarrassed and we stopped. never got head by the way. I called him out and he got super defensive and said that he was trying his best and didn’t know how to really do it then got back into it…got on top of me, took his underwear off. was trying to put his penis inside me…I squirmed and shook my head…he said “just let me rub the tip.” but he kept trying to put it i felt fuckinh defeated. I drove an hr here…might as well just allow him to fuck me. I’m here in his bed…with my underwear on…he’s on top of me. I don’t wanna “kill” the vibe and have him reject me. i ask if he has a condom and he says no. if he does, they’re old as fuck he says and that he’ll just buy me a plan b..I just accept and he puts it in. I’m not happy with the choices I’ve made. Idk why I still continued seeing him. the next morning he’s not as affectionate…disconnected a bit. never mentions the plan b again…I leave around 1pm the next day…when I head out he asks me to text him when I get home and that I should drive safely. tells me he had a good time. luckily I bought a plan b before heading over. I knew sex could happen. i take the plan b. I don’t text him bc I felt so disconnected with myself and ashamed. I text the next morning asking if I could have money for a plan b to see if he’d take responsibility…he never replies. was active on playstation at 8pm when I had texted him that at 9:30am. I end up blocking him off everything. I develop symptoms of discharge and itching on tuesday…went to go get tested. turns out I have chlamidya. I’m fuckinh devastated….im young and stupid. any advice?
btw this dude had major porn brain. insisted on me calling him daddy kept asking who’s pussy this is, slapped me, choked me, took his both hands and shoved his fingers into my mouth. randomly asked turning sex if I wanted to be his gf??? kept asking me if I was his little slut??? worst fucking hookup ever.
has no job, lives w his parents, 24, parents make hella fucking money. smokes weed + cigs everyday and drinks.
Idk what I was thinking..