u/unemployed_for_life

My goal in life was to reduce work related stress. When I was younger, I would hyper focus and overwork myself to the point of burn out.

Nowadays, I work just enough for some retirement savings and to have all my bills paid off with an emergency fund. Luckily I live pretty frugally and have flexibility with my job. I have a roommate that covers most of my housing expenses. I also have a good amount in retirement and am coasting to FIRE.

But I'm concerned that if she learns about my income, she will run for the hills.

What would you recommend?

I'm a 35 year old guy and I spent a lot of my younger years living frugally and investing.

As I result, I have an affordable home and $600k into index investments / retirement accounts. I'm now coasting on my investments and not contributing to any retirement accounts.

I now rent out a room and work part-time self-employed, netting around $25k a year on my business.

Fun Budget: Up to $10,000 on traveling, Japan is next!

Personal Budget:

• Other housing costs + utilities — $500
• Food — $200
• Ubers — $200
• Random shopping — $200
• Public transportation — $50
• E-bike maintenance — $50
• Dental — $30
• Phone — $25
• VPN — $5
• ACA Healthcare — $0

I currently do not have a romantic relationship (would want one though), no college degree, and I have spent most of my working time self-employed. What should my 5-year plan be moving forward? Continue to coast or is there something big I'm missing? Thanks!

One recognizes that time is our biggest asset. Why spend more time trying to earn more money? After a certain point, money isn't as important.

However, dating is that carrot on the stick. There is a performance associated with it. A lot of people want someone who has ambition, status, career stability, and increased potential. There is this situation to keep chasing promotions, titles, and career accomplishments.

I live a peaceful and comfortable life making $25k part-time a year. However, when I bring these numbers up on dates they almost turn blue and there is no second date.

Does it feel like dating and lean fire are almost contradictory at time?

My goal in life was to reduce work related stress. When I was younger, I would hyper focus and overwork myself to the point of burn out.

Nowadays, I work just enough for some retirement savings and to have all my bills paid off with an emergency fund. Luckily I live pretty frugally and have flexibility with my job.

But I'm concerned that if she learns about my income, she will run for the hills.

What would you recommend?

I have no good reasons for my lack of dating. I was super shy growing up and just believed that women would never like me.

I lost weight and had more attention but I lived with my parents during college and never did any socializing. I only studied engineering with mostly 90% men.

Afterwards, I dropped out. Drifted around.

My stats:

• Paid $6000 to lose my virginity when I turned 30. I went traveling and paid for every with another person I met on a dating site and she joined me as a +1 to the traveling. Afterwards I was sick to my stomach about the amount of money I had spent to "get lucky." That was my only sexual experience and it was just missionary.

• Developed a porn addiction starting at 10 years old.

• Super autistic, was diagnosed at age 22

• I'm super avoidant. I still live with my parents, I dropped out of school, I work part-time for $15 / hr, I do not have a driver's license my mom drives me places.

So yeah, people might be surprised why I'm inexperienced. I just try to ignore dating as much as possible.

But it is challenging. Especially since my friends think I'm popular with the ladies (good looking, 6'4", skinny / athletic).

I just failed to launch and I don't see any recovery.

What hope is there for someone like me? And yes I am in therapy but he doesn't understand. The dating world as changed dramatically since he last had to do it.