u/unknownphilosopher8

I haven't spoken to him in years. I kept wanting to write to him, ask him how he's been. But I never got around to it. I'm a very reclusive and introverted person. I regret this. Immensely. I should have written to him. He was struck by a large truck as he was riding his bike. He didn't make it. The driver got out, looked at him, then got back in and sped off. She was later caught.

This event has shaken my prayers. I have never been initiated into anything. I started off as a chaos magician and ended up here somehow along the way. Perhaps my Catholic upbringing and feeling more familiar with the spirituality. Anyways, I engage in daily prayers and meditation and these past two days, this has been all I can think about. I never lost someone like this before. My grandfather passed away, but that was from old age, he was well into his 80's. My friend was in his early 40's. I'm just shocked that this happened.

I remember he was a very lost person. Consumed by heavy sorrow. A spouse who cheated on him and left him. Feeling betrayed by God. All I can do is pray that he wasn't in pain when he passed, that his daughter can have the strength to get through this mourning and become the person I know her father believed she could be, and that he has found the light after a life of darkness.

He was never mean. He never got angry with anyone (besides himself). He was a very kind person. And a genuinely fun person to hang out with. I hope he managed to finally see himself as others see him.

I ask perhaps could other Martinists pray for his soul as well? His name was Manuel. It would mean a lot to me. Thank you.

Hi, I'm wondering about Pentagrammaton and how it is seen by Martinists. This is because the formula Yod Heh Shin Vau Heh is very important for many Christian Kabbalists, but Martinez de Pasqually considered the number 5 to be an evil number. But how could 5 be an evil number when the Kabbalistic name of Christ is comprised of 5 letters? Has anyone reconciled this or explained this?