Am I wrong for wanting to bring my partner to the wedding?
So here's the situation:
My (29F) childhood best friend (28F) is getting married in July, and their RSVP deadline is in the beginning of June. I'm one of two co-maid of honors.
I've been dating my partner (35M) for six months, and we are moving in together at the end of June, so this is obviously someone I want to have in my life for a long time.
When the invites were sent in February/March, the bride said kinda jokingly that she thought that maybe I needed a plus one, but didn't write that to the envelope. There was no "addressed to" part in the invite, so there was not a definite no or yes to me having a plus one.
I visited my friend a few weeks ago, and we went over the guest list, and her fiance said that he's put me down as 1 person attending, even though I hadn't officially RSVP'd. (I'm obviously attending, I'm the maid of honor, duh)
I kinda felt bad, because I really wanted my partner with me, and they just assumed I was going to attend without him, even though I've been talking to her about our relationship, so she knows that this isn't a "flavor of the week"-type of situation.
I understand that they haven't met my partner, and I don't blame them if they don't want to meet him for the first time at the wedding. However my friend and I live kinda far from each other, so we see each other approximately 3-6 times a year. Me, my partner and my friend all work jobs that have shifts, so it's just unfortunate that we haven't had time to meet all together.
But I still think it's not unheard of that long time friends that you don't see that often, might bring their partners that the bride and groom haven't necessarily met yet. I also don't know a lot of people attending the wedding, and there's not going to be the "friends table". Obviously their day isn't about my comfort, but I also don't think it's unreasonable for wanting a familiar person with me.
So, today I sent the bride a message that I would really like to bring my partner and I understand that they haven't met yet, so it's no problem if they didn't want to get to know him at their wedding, but that he needs to submit his day-off requests. The bride answered that they would love to get to know my partner, but they had booked accommodations only for me (their venue has cottages). I replied that I understood and didn't want to create a problem out of this, but offered that if there's still room to book accommodations for my partner as well, I'd cover the added cost. The bride has now left me on read.
Like I said, I don't want to be difficult, create a problem or act entitled, but I'd like a proper answer, because the accommodation sounds like a lukewarm excuse. We wouldn't necessarily even need accommodation, my childhood home is really close to the venue, so I could almost walk there, but I understand that the couple wants the wedding party available for clean-up etc.
So I guess I'm asking if I'm unreasonable or acting entitled for wanting a proper response, or did I poke a wasps nest by asking at all?
Also some background info, not sure if relevant:
- Their wedding is small-ish, but not "immediate family and closest friends only"-small. For example originally my mom was also invited with a plus one. My mom felt that it's appropriate for her to attend only the ceremony alone, so she's not going to attend the reception. Basically, my partner would fill up the spot that my mom left vacant.
- I had a 2 month fling with the best man 10 years ago. I understand that having my partner around could be awkward, but it's been 10 years and after that we've met a couple of times, and it's been very civil. I'd like to believe that we are adults who don't need to be concerned about who dated who as a teenager. If this is the case why the situation feels kinda weird and avoidant, I'd love that it could be addressed directly.