It must feel good as fuck to be at peace with your body
Wish I were in that boat again. Other than being mildly aware that I was fatter than the average girl of my age, I didn't think much of my body at all until I started developing breasts. i'd gotten the birds and the bees talk so I knew that breasts could develop at different rates, or take on a pointed shape early on. I figured they'd round out eventually. they haven't and i'm losing hope that they will. When I was about thirteen, I found out I had tuberous breasts.
Nowadays, it’s all-consuming. I’m constantly hyperfixated on my chest and how disproportionate it is to the rest of my body, and how it’d likely be 5x worse should I lose weight, among other things. Still trying to lose weight as I'd like the social benefits that come with being thin, and that’d be one less aspect of myself to hyperfixate on.
When it comes to looking for support online (have yet to find another tuberous breast girlie out in the wild, which is understandable considering how cruel some people can be, as much as they’d like to deny it), it feels like a lost cause. bar the ones in the actual tuberous breast communities, almost every single forum post i’ve found is utterly clogged with bullshit faux-positivity comments along the lines of “men won't care! tits are tits!” Maybe that's true if you’re on the milder side of things, and I don't really care about men in particular on that from (I'm a lesbian), but it would be nice for my hypothetical lover to care about my body in addition to the rest of me, actively desire it, rather than tread around it. Hell, I'd even like that for myself, but at this moment in time I'd happily settle for neutrality over whatever pit I've been stuck in for the past couple years.
It's either that or the ones who truly think that linking to niche porn subs where the crux of their "attraction" is that you’re fundamentally Not Normal is meant to do good for one’s self-esteem or confidence. Not even gonna touch on the ones who just outright deny the existence of TBD.
I've been SI-free for a couple years now but some nights I desperately want to relapse. Had a dream where I was looking into the mirror topless, staring at my breasts; they were not pornstar perfect or whatever, but they were significantly rounder than they are in real life. Genuinely wanted to pick up a razor and return to day one. I don't think I've had nightmares that made me cry as hard as that did.
But, like, mental nonsense aside, this shit's actually uncomfortable on a physical level. Boob sweat is a fucking killer, and I'm hyperaware of the way my undersides of my breasts chafe and stick to my torso, and how one's heavier than the other, or how that other leaves a gap in my bra. I'm aware that surgery's an option and I've seen results that give me hope about my situation. I've heard that breast lifts and areola reductions can fuck up the sensation in that area, which scares me, as does the possibility of major scarring (even worse since I'm dark-skinned POC and keloid-prone). Still think about fat transfer a lot though, and it's somewhat comforting to know that there's a solution out there. I’ll do anything not to be in this body any longer
Rant over. Thank you. Apologies for any typos that might crop up in this.