Am I being unreasonable for feeling hurt that my friend is planning her wedding in the same month and city as mine?
EDIT: Friend wants to do it in the same week as mine +/- few days.
My friend and I have been friends for 10+ years and grew up in the same relatively small city.
I got engaged in November 2025 and planned to get married in November 2027 due to career/timing reasons. I’d told close friends this was our plan, and I’ve since booked our venue and planner and paid deposits.
My friend got engaged in March 2026 and now wants to get married in the same city, same month and same week.
I completely understand the same city as we both grew up there. What bothers me is choosing the same month and same week when she hasn’t booked anything and has much more flexibility.
She said same week will work out better so we can potentially coordinate the weddings/reduce costs, but I really don’t want our weddings combined or coordinated and I have communicated this clearly with her.
I know I don’t own the month or city, and she’s entitled to choose whatever date she wants. I think what hurts is that we’ve been friends for 10+ years and I wish she’d considered how this might affect me before choosing the same month and same week.
There are also other recent issues in the friendship that have made me question things, and honestly I’m now at the point where I don’t really want her at my wedding or involved in the wedding party.
The difficult part is that I would normally try to communicate all of this with her, but we’ve had similar conversations in the past when I’ve tried to set boundaries, and they haven’t gone particularly well. I don’t feel that she handles confrontation or boundaries very well, and because we’re long distance friends, I’ve chosen to just let things go rather than create drama. But with the wedding situation, I’m finding myself thinking that I just can’t be bothered anymore.
Am I being unreasonable for feeling hurt? Would you expect a close friend to discuss their plans before choosing the same week* when your wedding is already booked? And would you address the friendship directly or quietly distance yourself and keep the weddings completely separate? If so, how do I uninvite her from my wedding?