u/valdis_vesik

Dearest Hevy peeps

I've been using the app for about a year and overall I'm loving it. It's smooth, easy to navigate and helps me see progress in the long run.

A small plea though.
When I selected "Replace exercise" during a workout, please just replace the exercise. Don't meddle with the sets or reps. Pretty please?
When I deviate from my routine, it's usually because the machine/rack is occupied and I have zero chill. I just want to keep everything the same, except the exercise type.

I have a memory like a sieve, so having the remember the different rep ranges after replacing an exercise and it removing warmup sets and whatnot really pulls me out of the workout.

That is all, thank you!

Info for context:
- Lover and I have been together for a little over a year.
- This is my first polyam connection after a life saturated with monogamy and the ending of a 13 year relationship
- I am a (slowly recovering) people pleaser
- Most of my monogamous relationships have been plagued by cheating from partners and just generally causing me quite a bit of trauma = ending up as the "go with the flow/low maintenance partner" and having trouble advocating for myself

Lover and I were in bed last night, having our usual evening chat and we talked about a trip we're going on in November, Friday - Sunday (coming home at around 22:00 Sunday).

Meta is coming to our city for a concert on that Sunday and might need a place to sleep. Lover asked if they might be able to stay at their place.
I said "Of course" without really giving it much thought, because why not? I was just with them for a whole weekend, that sounds fair, right?
Also, they could have easily just informed me that that was what was going to happen, but they asked for my input, since we would be travelling home together and such.

As we continued talking about whatever, it sat with me. I, apparently, had a look on my face and they said "Yeeees?" in a questioning manner.

I told them that my earlier easy "Of course" was actually not really what I was feeling. That it would feel weird for me, to end a trip like that. And that it was difficult for me to tell them that, since I had already said otherwise.
That my response was driven by my people pleasing urge, without taking into account how I would actually feel about it.
And they were just like "That's totally fair, I get that. You're allowed to say those things, you know?"

I'm sitting with it this morning and I'm just .. proud of myself?
I know it's weird and it's such a small thing for some, but for me? For me, that was a big step in voicing my feelings and not just "go with the flow". And the way they caught me in it and met me where I was, in what I was feeling and trying to come to terms with, was just in such a loving way that I want to burst at the seams.

So yeah, I'm proud of myself for (eventually) actually saying what I was feeling, instead of agreeing to something that would have made me feel uncomfortable. Even if it took some prodding and time to get there.

P.S Lover is obviously in their full right to still decide to have Meta sleeping over when we get back and ask me to go home to my own space, I am well aware, but just the fact that they wanted to make sure how I felt about it, is really really awesome.