i absolutely hate being aro-allo with a burning passion
for years i have felt totally alienated because of the kind of relationships i want to have with people. everyone talks about dating and wanting to be cute and romantic, meanwhile i’m just looking for someone who i can finally be intimate with for once in my life without feeling gross. the only real way i know how to express love other than being friends with someone, is sexual attention… and it just feels like nobody ever wants to partake in such things with me, and if they do, they stop within a couple weeks.
i wish i could “love” like everyone else… but the thought of romance is just unappealing to me, not to mention i can’t NOT think of overly sexual things even if i was in a romantic relationship. it’s just a mess of emotions and i really don’t know how to feel, and i’m sick of it. why does my brain have to be like this