Watching a womans life fall apart for her husband...
I met this woman almost 10 years ago, we'll call her Coffee because that's what I'm drinking right now.
Coffee was working hard to put her life together when I met her. We were in our early twenties and she had already been through a lot. She had a kid her junior year of high school and the dad was a POS. She had to build a life for her and their child alone.
When we met, Coffee had a condo that she had inherited from her parents, who have both passed, she just had to pay the condo fees. She sometimes struggled with this because holding down a job was difficult for her. She has since come a long way, finding a career she thrives in and taking amazing care of not only her own child, but any neighborhood kids who need help. She is the safe person in her neighborhood. You know how important that is to a kid.
Then, about two years ago now, enters this man. That's about all there is to say about him. Any interaction I've had with him (again, I've known Coffee for almost a decade now) has been met with blank stares or him walking away without saying a word. This is apparently how he treats all of our friends, not just the women either, everyone. We've tried to talk to Coffee but she'll say he's shy and shrug it off. I got it at first but two years of interactions with all of her friends (spoiler alert: including their WEDDING!!!) and not one of us can say we've had a meaningful, or even pleasant conversation with the dude. I'll call him Dust.
Dust moved in with Coffee within two months of them dating. At the time, he was struggling to hold down a job and Coffee, having been in the same position, empathized and took him in. Since then, he's worked maybe a total of 8 nonconsecutive months at different jobs. He also crashed his car so now they share hers. They share hers. Even though she's the only one who works, pays for it, pays insurance, etc.
So now she's supporting her almost teenager and one 30-something year old man on one paycheck. She was also paying off his medical debt from "his ex frequently 5150ed him"
No, Coffee never shared the reason(s) why Dust's ex was having him committed. Take it how you will. I don't know anything else about it other than it happened both during and after the relationship.
So then Coffee and Dust got married. At the time, several people asked Coffee if this was a good idea and she just seemed completely blinded by him. She thought he shit rainbows and butterflies and didn't understand why everyone else in her life thought he was a bum. She complained to the GC about other people doing it frequently that we all felt bad and also stopped trying to convince her not to marry him. At the end of the day, she was an adult.
Today, she told the GC she's going to lose her parents condo and all three of them are going to have to move in with her grandmother, in a two bedroom house that's about 30 minutes from her work.
I feel so frustrated and devastated for her. Coffee is a good person who spent years building herself up to where she is today and taking care of everyone around her. And now because of some Dust in her life, everything came crumbling. In less than two fucking years.
I want to shake her and ask her what the point of keeping him around has been! What the hell has he added to her life that's worth losing everything else?? He leeched so much from her in so little time.
TL/DR: Some boring lump is ruining my friend financially and she's just going with the flow.