Adhd and perfectionism is… not a good combo
Hello friends,
I am 23 years old, male, and have been diagnosed with ADHD since childhood. As you can imagine, the combination of ADHD and strong perfectionism is not always easy. I have a few examples from my life for you.
My biggest problem in school since first grade was my perfectionism. When I started my workbook, everything was neatly organized and beautifully written. As soon as I wrote a word wrong or it looked messy (caused by my lacking consistency due to adhd), I immediately stopped the neat way of writing, began to scribble, and suddenly did not care at all what was in it or how it looked, because it was already ruined anyway. When the teachers gave me trouble, the rest of the school year was ruined too, because I knew it would no longer be perfect.
I have been like this since childhood. As soon as something is not perfect, or I make a mistake at something, I put as little energy as possible further into that thing. If my car gets an unremovable stain in the interior, I stop cleaning it up. If I feel like I have not mastered playing the guitar, I do not play it anymore. Even when something goes wrong in my relationships or in my friendships, even if it is just an argument or a wrong word, then I break them off. If I am not perfectly dressed, then I feel terrible. I can remember not going to school because my hair was not in perfect shape. I knew that if I went to school like that, I would permanently think about it in my head, which makes me insecure and nervous.
I am now 23 and I do not have a job, because logically, I cannot find the perfect job and I am afraid of starting a career path that I will regret later.
Thanks for listening yall!