When do I stop overthinking?
Hello, I recently got diagnosed with HIV (less than a month) and well, since then I have been thinking about it almost everyday and they are not like, happy thoughts at all, I know I can take meds and they will help me to have a normal life but, even the thought of taking a pill everyday to remind me of mi situation scares me, I don't think I'll be able to do it, even without the medication and all, I'm still thinking everyday, I don't want to imagine how it will be if I take it.
And yes, I know I have to take them and all for my health and all but I don't think I'll be able to, for context, I'm a 19 years old boy who likely got it from engaging in prostitution (I did that when I was 18yo for maybe 10 months or so, worst thing I could do in my life)
And my family, is deeply homophobic, like, they will absolutely throw me out of the house if they get to know I have HIV, so, family support for me is an absolute no, I still live with them so, if I take my medication, i will have to hide it from them, so, it's kinda risky.
I have told a few friends and they are really helping me to get through this, like, they are real friends, I love them for that, they are completely supportive but specially they are normal about this, that's what I just really appreciate, that nothing changed with them, but I just think my life is ruined, if it wasn't already, now with this is just going downhills.
I want to start dating a boy that I really like but I know I will have to tell him about this situation and, well, maybe I'm thinking too much, but I really don't think he'll be ok with this, like, not at all, he'll prolly cut ties with me and all.
And that's all I guess, I just can't stop thinking about this, because I really really want, but a reminder of my situation always appears during the day (or during the night, which is a lot worse), I've been doing a lot of activities, going out a lot, drawing (I really like it) but still, a small thought always comes out, a thought that my life has not been good, nor what I was expecting and that with this it's just one more footsept in a staircase of bad decision, things and circumstances, like, the last drop
When do I stop overthinking or, just be ok about this? If there's really a way
(Sorry if there are mistakes or if the wording is not the best, English is not my first language)