How do you adjust to rejection or move past insecurity when around other gay black men?
Hey y’all! I’ve been feeling a bit insecure lately after what was supposed to be a fun sex party. I live in LA and always saw this recurring meet up for black gays pop up regularly. I decided I’d take a chance and go, especially since I have primarily hooked up with Latino men, and have been wanting to have sex with my fellow black gays.
I get ready, have a shot or two for liquid courage, and make my way to the venue, where I discover it’s filled with super fit, hot black men. Now, if I had to rate myself, I’d say I’m a 5 or 6, with my height doing the heavy lifting. But I felt immediately insecure that I was having a hard time getting anyone to play with the sounds and low visible sights of sex everywhere. Suffice to say I left after 45 minutes and only having fun with one guy who didn’t wanna fuck yet. I’ve been to sex clubs with a more diverse group, and I haven’t had much trouble finding someone to have sex with (granted, it depends on the night).
I’d love to continue going to these parties and making connections with other black gays, but I also know I’m still insecure about my body, and rejection still feels like my ego is wounded. Any advice on how to move past rejection, and get thicker skin? How much should I continue trying before it gets easier to engage in spaces like this?