u/westfanye

my mdcat score was 150, which makes my aggregate around 88%, and my nums aggregate is around 87%, now while i know that my score isn’t good enough for a govt medical college, let me also make it clear that i never wanted to study mbbs in the first place and am only doing it because its my mother’s dream (shes a doctor herself). anyways i let go of that shit and just accepted my fate because i know nobody’s going to listen to me either way, they think if you’re not a doctor in this country, you’re a failure. but thats besides the point. the main problem is i want to go to cmh lahore, but my father keeps telling me to just go to this uhs private college in my own city, which is SHITTY. my sister studies there and she hates it; another cousin works there (shes a doctor) and she tells me they don’t even have basic facilities, and that they make DOCTORS do admin work in their hospitals. she says if they weren’t paying pmdc hefty amounts, the college would have probably been shut down by now for not following any protocol. but thats js how most UHS private colleges are i guess; smaller than a government school in a backward village, and zero facilities.

a little character sketch of my father before we move forward; zameendar, mentally somehow even more backwards and conservative than my late grandfather (he let his daughter i.e my phupho go to lahore for college), and just everyone in the family hates the man, but obviously because i am his “daughter” i am supposed to stay silent and still love him despite all of the bs hes been upto since day 1. the list of stuff he has done is honestly endless but id rather not go into further details as this is already getting too long lmao

anyways, my father knows and acknowledges this too, but he just keeps telling everyone that his decision is final and when other people in the family tried to talk to him and convince him otherwise, he started talking about how he is already paying around 24-25lakh per year for my sister, and he cannot afford to pay over 30lakh for cmh lahore, and i get that, COMPLETELY VALID. and i would not want to financially burden my family either. then when presented with fazaia, other cmh colleges, or fumc as an option, which would cover all the expenses including transport, my monthly expenses, and hostel under 24lakh, which is also his “budget”, he js started to throw dirt on my character in front of the entire family, including kids who look upto me as the “smartest cousin of the family.” it really hurt me how my father is willing to go to ANY LENGTHS js to have control over my life.

i have tried to communicate with him and i was the sweetest child ever, but as i grew up i realised its better talking to a wall than to this man because he genuinely does not have the mental capacity to listen to people, without making himself the victim every single time. even right now, he is not talking to anyone in the house just because he thinks we are forming a “group” against him.

what do i do and how do i deal with this man? im sorry if this is too long, but i feel like my life will come to an end if i don’t move out for university and get a break from this man’s bs. i am my father’s daughter and just like him, i refuse to back off from what i want, because i have already taken a huge risk by picking a career that i do not even want for myself, something that i will have to work with for the rest of my life, just because i was told i had no other choice. but this time i refuse to let him control me to the extent where HE decides even the college i go to.