u/wh0rederline

happily going to sleep. whatever. okay got a voucher for some new pads and held up the whole queue because my drunk ass knew i would pick up the wrong ones so i asked a worker for help. turns out she did anyway so everyone behind me was angry regardless. but i got home and put on a new pad for bed and somehow that meant my body gave itself permission to piss myself. sure fine nothing new.

but what is this?? what? candle wax???? where the fuck did you get this?? i go to the bathroom (for a proper piss) to see my spiritual flatmate still has a plate with incense on intact. okay, didn’t wreck that.

WHERE THE FUCK DID IT COME FROM. maybe it isn’t candle wax?? oh my god

everyone is so sad. i don’t wanna be sad. what’s the funniest thing you’ve done drunk? can obviously still be objectively shitty or fucked up, as long as it’s funny. and i’ll reply with my own story if yours reminds me of something. please keep it light you sick fucks, chairs