Named successor but a new opportunity came up
I have always been one of the “top” employees in my company - I am calm, reliable and a genuine team player and I do my best to grow junior team members. I get things done and do not complain much. My manager has been advocating for me to be her successor over the last few years and other senior management seems to be onboard with this plan. Now that my manager is on her way out to the next role, this long-discussed succession plan is finally coming to fruition.
While the promotion may sound exciting after 10years in this organisation, deep down I know it does not align with my current life stage. I have 2 toddlers and I want to be present for their growth. Taking this promotion means I will need to lead a much bigger team, take night calls, manage stakeholders in different time zones and inevitably, be involved in politics (which I hate and am bad at). Looking at my manager and her peers, they all work til late at night and over weekends (coincidentally none of them have kids) I just dont think there is a role model that I can relate to and this will not be a sustainable lifestyle for my family.
I have been telling my manager both explicitly and subtly that i am not ready for this promotion, and I need to be present for my family but she doesnt seem to get it. She keeps thinking a promotion is the solution to all problems (because financially i will earn more and i will have a bigger team to rely on). After a while, I just gave up trying and simply remained silent every time we talked about promotions.
Recently a new opportunity came up - It s a new area which will undoubtedly be a steep learning curve, but it is a local role which doesnt require night calls and I only need to manage a small number of team members. The hiring manager seems to be an empathetic person too and understands my need for flexible work arrangements. I will vey likely pursue this opportunity, but I have this deep sense of guilt - jt feels like I am betraying my manager somehow and all her support / advocacy over the last few years will go to waste.
If you were me, which opportunity would you choose? If you choose the new opportunity elsewhere, how should I manage my exit conversation/ transition to soften the impact?