Has anyone left after their q got sober? Or lost attraction while waiting?
Mine isn't. I'll try to make this quick.
5 years. Relapses on H every year. Stoned, drunk, or both daily - he's a polysubstance addict. Will do c*ke a lot, and even molly behind my back.
6 months ago he lied about doing subs, I found the H. He was a raging asshole. I think I should have left then.
I told him he had to get help (therapy, rehab, alanon, something) if he wanted to stay with me.
I got sober with him for two months, like stopped casually drinking. Found out that for two months I thought we were sober together, he was using c*ke (and god knows what else) behind my back.
It's now been six months. I'm sober. He smokes weed every single day, I hate him on it. He drinks all the time and gets blackout drunk. I don't trust him at all.
Today he was like, "I'm one day sober!" And... I almost just don't even care at this point. It feels too late. He got so mad at me for not acting like he was a miraculous superhero for 1 day, but I don't even know if he'll make it to the end of the night.
I think all the lies, and verbal abuse have done too much damage; besides that I honestly... Don't think he'll actually get sober. He never does. He even told me, "I'm not doing it for me I'm doing it for you." So that won't work.
I can't even imagine all the things he's actually done behind my back that I don't know about. I feel like for these last 6 months I've been grieving him and the relationship we no longer have, and he thinks one day of sobriety is going to just erase all the trauma and broken trust, but it doesn't. I used to be wildly attracted to him, and now I don't even want to be around him 75% of the time. Like, idk how to fix that. For someone who will probably just keep doing drugs behind my back forever.
Has anyone else ever felt like this? I can't afford our apartment on my own, but I think I need to just blow up my life and end it. Maybe I can find a roommate. Maybe not. I'm just so tired of being around him stoned, high, or drunk everyday. And yes I've talked to him so many times, he knows how I feel. Which just makes me mad honestly. 6 months was plenty of time to figure it out, and he didn't even try.