I recently wanted to order a book in a physical bookstore (because I want to do that more) and the shopkeeper immediately said the book was way too expensive for that and that it would be much cheaper online (it was, 70 Euro instead of 100+ in the store). I've never encountered this level of selfless honesty and it's pretty awesome.
I'll go first: I wanted to be a doctor. As I grew up, I realised the hardships of the profession that dulled down my passion.
I now work in the interface of research and business in biotech companies
It's summer YAY! For what felt like an eternity of winter, the sun is finally out, and I'm beyond elated. In Europe, this means slower work hours and parks filled with people having fun.
My fav summer activity is sun-bathing in my balcony with a book and some chilled beer. What's yours? I'd love to know!
I’d tell mine to refuse the arranged marriage proposals, take that goddamn job as a scientist, and live life on her own terms.
Maybe she would’ve met someone who healed her instead of making things harder.
What would you say to yours?
Meeting someone abroad can be a bit more challenging than when living in India. You’re either navigating intercultural relationships, choosing from a smaller pool of Indian men, managing a LDR with your partner back home, or trying your luck with online dating. Each path comes with its own set of stories.
Source: Alchemy (Pinterest)
I was a big people pleaser growing up… the whole “good girl” conditioning was deeply rooted in me. (Thanks mumma) I followed rules, made sure everyone was happy, avoided conflict even when people crossed my boundaries.
If anything, moving abroad made it worse. Not looking like everyone else made me try even harder to please. I tolerated way too many “racist” comments because I was scared of being disliked. And if I’m being fully honest, there was some colonial mindset in me too, this idea that white = better. Unfortunately, there’s always that one unhappy Sam who thinks the same too, and believes that immigrants are the problem.
I was already having a rough time at work, got made a bit of a scapegoat because I missed an instruction (language barrier, I didn’t speak Dutch then). It was winter, so everything just felt… heavy. I was biking home from work, minding my own business. Some old guy behind me was in a rush and wanted me to go faster. When I didn’t, he started yelling, “Go back to your country if you can’t ride a bike properly.”
I just froze. Didn’t say a word. That comment hit me so hard. I went home, skipped dinner, and cried all night. And kept thinking about it for weeks.
Somewhere in that phase, something flipped. I remember thinking - look at how much I contribute here. The taxes I pay, the work I do, the hoops I jumped through just to integrate here. Why am I letting some random man make me feel like I don’t belong?
That's when I decided I was done being that polite.
If someone says something disrespectful to me now, especially because of how I look, I will answer back. It was uncomfortable at first, but now… I genuinely don’t care.
It also hit differently after I had my baby. I don’t want my child growing up thinking they have to shrink themselves to be accepted. They’re always going to look different and I want them to see me stand my ground.
Are you still in that “be polite at all costs” phase? Or have you hit your breaking point too? Or was this never a thing for you? I would love to know!
I grew up middle class, so every little thing we bought felt like a big deal. I still remember when my dad got a bonus and my mom was set on getting a Kashmiri carpet. They had gone to Kashmir for their honeymoon, so it meant something.
Since it was such a big expense, she took me to the shop multiple times, quite nervous before making the purchase. I used to hate those trips. No kid enjoys home shopping! But that carpet ended up being the centerpiece of our living room for decades (and still is!).
It’s such a strong part of my childhood. I ended up getting one for my home here in the Netherlands, and in a strange way, it takes me right back to those simpler times.
What’s something like that for you?
My friend back home unwinds by going to the salon every week. I wish I had the pockets to do that living abroad (I mean getting my eyebrows done costs me 20 EU!). I'm curious how do you unwind after a tiring week?
I’ll go first. My neighbour aunty saw me after years, and without asking me how am I, she immediately said, “Beta, you’ve become very thin there. You now need fat to have babies”
Every trip home comes with its own set of unsolicited, wildly confident comments.
What’s the most ridiculous /funny thing someone has said to you?
Image credits: Pinterest (couldn't find the artist's name)