r/TwoXIndiaNRI

I'll make this a short read. I have missed a space with NRI Indian women! I did not know this subreddit existed until I saw it recommended to someone on another, more diaspora, focused subreddit. I'm so glad to have found it. More often than not, reputation precedes us. Sometimes women from the mainland are also painted with the same brush as some men, or most likely a time capsuled older version of an NRI that may have caused kids in diaspora some unpleasant experiences. It always felt unfair and also felt like a lot of comments have had internalized racist undertones to it. As an Indian NRI woman, I have a different view on gatekeeping culture, a different experience growing up with people who look like me, a different accent and a different grooming and personal style. So I'm so glad I get to be a part of this group, where hopefully my experiences matter and are valid and worthy and not be excluded from spaces because I come from India!

Hello y’all

I had a baby girl this year and I’m a little terrified of raising her right. The society is so deeply critical of girls that I want to make sure she never has to question herself or ruminate in self doubt so that some toxic man swoops in and misbehaves with her.

I also grew up abroad, so I always had this script that I need to be cautious of how I am perceived socially. This really messed up with me at work as I became a total people pleaser.

What are some things you think help to raise confidence of a girl if she’s raised abroad.

Hi, I don’t mean this as a rant or anything dramatic, but lately I’ve just been feeling really stuck and I can’t fully explain why.

I’m here in the U.S. and my life is honestly not bad. I have a basic job, a loving family back home, and things are stable. But for some reason I can’t shake this feeling that I don’t really see myself here long term, or that I don’t have it in me to build a real life/community here. On top of that the visa stress is just unending...

And I think that also affects how I think about relationships and marriage. Like realistically, who wants to be with someone who isn’t even sure where they want to settle down? I am 27.5 so already I have matches coming or ppl approaching and looking for partners who want to settle only in USA or only in India.

Ever since moving away from my Uni friends, I’ve just felt off socially. I don’t really feel like I have people here who truly know me. Everyone has their own lives now, relationships, problems, priorities, which is normal, but sometimes everything just feels kind of surface level and isolating. Is that the same in India? idk

And the frustrating part is I am trying. I go to events, I try to meet people, I put myself out there. But somehow it still feels empty and forced most of the time.

Maybe I’m overthinking it, I honestly don’t know. But carrying these feelings around by myself has been exhausting. What all do you do? Does it get better? Or any insights you might have...

Life abroad can feel isolating at times. This is a space to share the highs, lows, frustrations, and everything in between. We’re listening

🤍 Mod Team

In Uni I had a big girl gang, we used to hang out and do everything together. Always a call/SMS away in crisis. Now everyone is in different corners of the world and you get replies after 2-3 days. We haven’t met in a decade. And it’s just impossible to make friends as an adult. The only ppl I hang out with are husband’s friends and their spouse or my work colleagues and ocasssionally a gym friend

I just miss having my girl gang with me. End of rant. Just feeling low today

Essentially I’m born and brought up in the USA but my parents put in a lot of effort to keep me rooted to my culture. I am legally married but going to get culturally married soon. For context: my partner came here for his masters and we meet during that time but his parents are still in India. I thought I knew my culture well but tbh after interacting with my in laws I’m lowkey lost. He’s from a different state so maybe that’s relevant but we are both North Indian. Does anyone have any good advice to help me navigate? I can include examples but idk what to include.

Examples: they def don’t make as much of an effort with me as they do with my BIL despite knowing me longer. Me and my BIL are both from the same culture and we speak the same language as well so it’s not that he meshes better with them due to same culture.

They indirectly make remarks about my career/education level and tell my partner that they are uncomfortable that I grew up here and don’t really know how to interact with me.

They indirectly mention my height a lot because me and my partner are about the same height (I’m on the taller side).

My SIL crosses my boundaries so I keep a distance and it bothers them but they didn’t really correct her so I had to keep my distance.

Recently I’ve been having career troubles as in I didn’t pass my final board exam. I was off by a few points and they are def more distant and ignore my messages.

They threw a fit that my partner stayed at my parents place with me for 2 months due to immigration troubles and layoff (legit dude had nowhere to go).They kept telling him to stay anywhere else.

I have been born and brought up in Delhi and I’ve always been scared of trusting strangers because of horrible cases that come to light in everyday news.

But recently I had a 5 hr bus ride booked to NYC and I was supposed to board the bus from a bus station at 5 am. I booked a cab to the station and it was still pitch dark when we reached the station. The cab driver was from Uzbekistan and he was helping me look for the bus. But when we realised the bus was delayed, he offered to wait with me. He didn’t need to. He actually had to cancel so many rides coming his way to wait for me. But he waited. He made me sit in the cab with my bags till the bus came. When the bus did come, there were some rash dudes who were also boarding the bus with me and eyeing me. The cab driver took my bags from the cab and put them inside the bus himself. And when I sat inside, he even waited till the bus left and waved at me to ask me if I was feeling alright 😭😭😭

Wow, I have never felt such kindness from a stranger before. I was so happy and giddy throughout my bus ride. Me and the cab driver hardly talked but the way he was concerned for me was just so protective and so manly. I would want my brothers and male friends to act like that whenever with female company.

This might sound very insignificant right now but at that moment when it was dark outside with no soul in sight barring a few junkies, this experience really made my day. I have never experienced anything like this before.