u/why_dmn

Since freshman year, I had always been a University Scholar, College Scholar, or part of the honor roll. I also maintained a running GWA that was within Laude standing. However, this was the first semester where I truly fumbled. All my grades ended up as dos-liner, and every subject felt exhausting and difficult to get through. But among them, there was one subject that gave me overwhelming anxiety. Every class meeting felt like torture to the point that I completely lost hope and just wanted the semester to end.

Deep down, I was already expecting that I would fail the subject. But instead of crying over it, I honestly just felt relieved that it was finally over. And strangely enough, I’ve started looking at this failure differently. Part of me feels like this delay might actually become an opportunity for me to breathe a little and carry a lighter load next semester. I’m also lucky to have a supportive family and friends who motivated me even more to look at this situation on the brighter side.

I honestly don’t know if this is some form of denial, but I genuinely don’t feel devastated the way I thought I would. If anything, I feel lighter. Sure enough, I know there will be moments in the future when I’ll regret seeing my peers graduate earlier than me. I also know I’ll regret losing my chance to graduate with Latin honors. I know it will really hurt at some point. However, as I’m typing this, all I feel is relief.