u/wild_katalana

In this group we often remind eachother that we can unrealistic views of our APs. Because we don't have to live with them, we can make them perfect in our head.

Until today I hadn't considered that the opposite could also be true 😆 I was messaging my AP and bemoaning my inability to cook for guests. He said I was doing myself a disservice, and he was sure I was a great host.

Ermmmmm, no 😂 I am really not a domestic goddess 😂

What about you? What secret pedestal has your AP put you on?

AP and I have been on and off for more than 15 years. Some years physical, some years NC but mostly online only. We're friends first and foremost but there's regular bouts of sexting and we both have some very fond memories from when we've met up.

Lately we've been online only, but an opportunity arose for him to join me for a weekend. And he's declined. He's virtually a hermit nowadays.

I am so disappointed. I just don't know if I've got it in me to have two guys who need to be cajoled into being physical or deeply intimate with me. Even saying that makes me feel like an ogre, but I'm not.

I don't really want anyone else. He's the only person I've been with (other than SO) for the last 20 years. I love him and am still attracted to him and I don't want to find another AP. But this really isn't doing it for me.

Crazy folks of Adultery land - what next?