Is it unreasonable for me to have my friend over for a few hours to quietly do art while my parents aren't home on a school night (friend would leave before 9pm)
I am 19 (transm) and i live with my family which includes my parents, and my sibling (17 non binary). We live in the netherlands and my paresnt will be gone for a 4 days next week to go to france for their aniversry. I am currently not in school and unemployed because of my visa and therefore am home a lot. Last year my friends and bf could come over and stay untill like midnight as long as we were downstairs/doing near silent activites upstairs after my sibling went to bed. This school year my sibling said that a) i vould not have freidns over past 9 pm. For refernece the is a very wet country and it frequently pours for like 15-20 minutes at a time and my friends bike everywhere 98% of the time so. Even if it is pouring i still have to kick them out to bike in the rain evem if the rain will stop in a few minutes. B) my sibling has complete veto power over when i can have friends over. If there is a big assingment or test that week i just cannot have friends over that week.
So next week im getting a tattoo and i asked my friend who usualy comes over every week for a day for us to work on art things and teach each other, to go with me for comoany and because my tattoo aritst speaks english but nit quiet fluently and i dont want to sit in silence. Us making art very quiet activity, the loudest this gets is just a normal inside tlaking voice but is usually niether of us tlaking while we just work together. I told my parents that my friend was going to come over after and my mom said are you sure your sibling is okay with you having people over? I think i should be able to have my friend over in the house after my tattoo as long as he lesves by 9 pm. Which this friend has to because his meds make him sleepy. I dont thimk it is unreasonable for me to bring him over. I wont because i dont want to cuase huge issues that would interfere eith my parents anuversry in France but im really frustrated.
To me this is like why shpuld is turcture my scocial life around my siblings wants. Like why do i always have to adjust, i know i have fewer reasponsibilities but like this is a reacurring thing where i always have to move my acitvities to make them comfortable and i csnt really display my point of view because im just being unreasonable. And to be clear, we live in a city there are. Libraries with study rooms, cafes, and and things where my sibling could study everywhere and easily accseible. But i couldnt realy paint in these places.
Some other context: my grandma told me that shw really thinks that my sibling gets some favoritism treatment, my mother constantly cleans up for them and they have no household chores like laundry or taking out trash or dishes. When asked to do things they just dont untill soemone forgets or just does it for them. They have also told me thst they intentionally do nothing and know it makes espcially my mothers life harder and when theyre being rude and kind of a jerk im like heynyoyre not being very nice and they just laugh. My sibling will also practice on tjr gorund floor when ym friend and i sre doing things like video games or watching a movie insyead of the attic nd will.not move when asked. Theres a lot of things like this.
So i really do feel like this isnt a super fair arrangement where the rest of my family is going eith whatever my sibling says and we always have to readjust for them. And i want to bring this up but every time i try i get gaslit into thinking this is reasokable?
Im mostly asking is any parents or academicslly busy people think this is normal or a reasonable dynamic, and if anyone has any advice for talking.about this eith my parents? That would be appricated also