dating someone new as an RA
I (24f) have recently heard about relationship anarchy, and I'm definitely still learning what it is but I identify with ideas certainly about valuing platonic connection as much as romantic connection and breaking down these walls of hierarchy. I've been very comfortable being single in my adult years and I deeply deeply love the friendship connections I've made.
That being said, I've never been in a long-term "serious" romantic relationship and I'm currently exploring a new connection. It's been confusing dealing with feelings of liking someone in a romantic way but also not experiencing those typical early on love hormone feelings of wanting to be with said person all the time. It's early - it's only been a little over a month - and I know he (25m) seems to be interested in a committed relationship with me, but I feel nervous about labels and I'm in no rush to define what we have going on because it is still early for me. I know that others might feel comfortable defining a relationship after a month but that is definitely not the case for myself. I know that I can keep exploring this connection - he is awfully sweet and it feels safe to do so - but I can't help and have all of these confused thoughts about what I'm feeling.
The thing about labels is that they make me feel icky. I've never felt comfortable defining my sexuality, and the thought of being identified as a man's "girlfriend" feels soooo out of whack with who I am lol. Like I am just me, I don't want to classified by one part of my life. It's not that I don't feel comfortable with commitment or that I can't deeply care for another in that way. I think it also has to do with the fact that I was only attracted to women for a while and now this feels so new for me. Which navigating sexuality is a whole other ballpark.
I guess I'm trying to figure out how other people who have had similar feelings have traversed dating in a romance-centered world? I know I enjoy spending time with this person and I don't want to break things off but I also know that a relationship in the typical sense does not fit in with who I am. I also don't feel like I want to spend a ton of time with him and I don't want him to be my "boyfriend" so it makes me think that maybe what I'm feeling is "wrong" and like I should end things, just because the world has taught me that I should feel obsessed with my romantic partner and "when you know you know" and all of that. And despite the fact that I am very comfortable being alone, and I love my solitude, romance is something that I know could be a satisfactory part of my life.
Sorry that this is a longer post, just wondering if anyone can relate or has any personal insight into these thoughts and feelings.