u/wipedoutmom

My five year old has always been a stage 5 clinger. I couldn’t set him down when he was a baby and currently, I can’t pay attention to literally anything else when we’re together. He requires my undivided attention every second we’re together, which obviously isn’t feasible. As a toddler, I tried over and over to foster independent play. I would play for a bit, then try to give him 15 minutes to play by himself - rinse and repeat all day - every variation of this method imaginable. I’ve tried every trick and tip to get him to play. I’m not looking for any more advice in that regard because I’ve tried it all and it just hasn’t worked lol.

What I want to know is if anyone else with a clinger simply started saying, “I’m not going to play with you. You need to learn to play by yourself.” This has been my new go-to and my parents (who absolutely never played with me ironically) are acting like this is the most horrifically abusive thing I’ve ever done. My logic: he’s five. He is old enough to understand how to play. He goes to school all day and I’m told he will play independently at school as well as with other kids. He just views ME as a form of entertainment and I’m ready to be done lol. I think it’s time for him to learn and I have tried every other “gentle” method, so this is where I’m at.

Am I going to cause my child some kind of emotional damage by simply reiterating that I won’t play? Sure, my parents never played with me, but I did have siblings and neighborhood kids to play with. My kid doesn’t really have anyone outside of school … so I’m feeling torn over this. He’s right behind me as I’m typing this screaming “MOM MOM COME LOOK! COME WATCH ME!!” 🫩 Five years of this has driven me just a liiiiittle crazy