I feel like I'm regressing and it's exhausting.
38F here. Mild spastic hemiplegia. I walked with no devices for most of my life, and in 2019 I started using a cane to walk back and forth to work, because I had to cross train tracks.
When Covid hit and I stopped going out so much and lost a ton of endurance, my walking really suffered.
Fast forward to now, I can walk around in the house mostly okay, but I can't go outside on my own. If there's any open space on my left side (I use the cane on my right), I panic and my legs clamp up.
For the past 6 months or so I've been taking Baclofen, and I'm in PT again for the first time since I was a teenager. I'm doing my stretches every day and I just feel like I'm getting worse. I clamp up in open spaces even more than usual, and even inside I'm having trouble bringing my tea from the kitchen to my desk without doing little maneuvers. I've always been able to just carry a mug.
It's frustrating and I'm scared and I hate it. I'm trying so hard to get better and I feel like I'm just getting worse.
I know that these things take time and I can't expect overnight results, but I didn't expect to be getting worse. My therapist had me use a rollator today, and I hated how much easier it was than walking with the cane. I don't want to have to use a rollator, because it feels so much more bulky, and it seems like I'll never be able to use public transit again.
Thanks for listening to this rant. Just getting it off my chest to people who understand.