32 days in after 10+ years of addiction
Today marks 32 days since my last release. After about 5 years of trying to conquer this on and off, I was never able to reach more than 11 days until now. I definitely haven’t been “cured” yet, but for the first time ever I feel like I’m finally on the path to conquering my mind and this addiction.
What’s different about this time is that I’ve found my purpose in life and have been spending pretty much all of my time and energy pursuing it. Working 10+ hours a day, gym every day and cooking healthy meals, 10k+ steps a day, reading and good sleep. Since I stopped releasing all of these aspects in my life have improved tenfold and I’ve made more internal progress in the last month than I had in the last 6 months prior.
In terms of benefits, nothing crazy yet like the magnetism and attraction from women that most people on this sub seem to be chasing. I’m not even interested in that at the moment. What I have felt is a huge boost of energy in the morning and a drive to work every day. It’s a Sunday which is my “day off” but I still feel like I need to be doing something which isn’t something I felt before.
I don’t need to peel myself out of the bed in the morning, I wake up looking forward to every workout and challenge and I’m in the best shape of my life. Internally I just feel great. My anxiety is almost completely gone, especially socially as that was a huge problem for me growing up. I’ve never been so excited for the future rather than dreading it.
I’ve started having dreams a lot more frequently and vividly. Not sure what it means but my guess is that I’m reaching a higher state of consciousness. I’m still yet to have a wet dream, and I’ve never had one in my life.
The best advice I’d give to someone who’s struggling to get past those first couple weeks is FIND YOUR PURPOSE. Something you genuinely enjoy that makes you want to wake up every morning and chase it. Whether it’s a new career, fitness journey or whatever you want in life. Just take the risk and go for it. You won’t have the time or energy to release at the end of the day.
A couple months ago I set out to reach 30 days. Relapsed a couple times but put my mind to it and got there. Recently added up the days on my calendar and realised day 100 will fall on my birthday. That’s my next goal, I’ll see you all in December 💪