Doubt in my marriage. seeking outside perspectives
Assalam alikom everyone,
I hope everyone is doing great.
I recently got married Alhamdoulilah. at a young age (which tbh is way harder than I thought it would be…. in so many different ways as well)
I have had some issues recently. Mainly I got to know my wife better (her life/how she was raised ext...);
and I would like to have some outside perspective. Thank you.
So to give you more context.
We met around November (she was asking ing about some advice in her career) and we were talking on and off mainly on that subject. Reaching December I noticed messages were getting out of hands and we talked about more subjects that weren’t related to anything. I didn’t enjoy talking to her but at the same time I didn’t want to comite a sin and getting into a relationship so I kindly requested from her to stop talking.. a little bit she came and asked why and I told her unless I’m gonna marry you I’m not looking to have a conversation. She asked me to marry her which we did. It was fast… (choufa right after ramadan and 2 months ago fatha(with 3a9d) only since we are both young and even if we have decent salary we both agreed to not spend a fortune and be in debt for pointless night)
Right after, that problems started happening… my mom asked to divorce her because of some silly reasons I didn’t find it logical so I told my mother that she is wrong and I won’t be doing that.
It did have an impact on our marriage specially that I’m abroad and we still haven’t been together nor done anything but we managed to always talk things off at the end of the day. All though we have our differences we also have a lot thing in common and we are very compatible.
She became more and more open to me and started to talk more and more about her past.
I personally never dated and tried to avoid it as best as I could even though I got sometimes too close to certain women we never really were dating.
On the other hand she was raised in an environment that had let’s say a bit of do whatever, she had many male friends and dated a guy for 7 years… many of those male friends and her ex wanted to marry her but at that time she didn’t want to...
I understand everyone has his past specially when raised in an environment that mixing boys and girls/dating is the norm. But I feel somehow weird about it.
I didn’t want to do the research on her since to me it’s not something I see right (many people flagged this as wrong but none of their arguments convinced me).
Though tbh truth be told. If she came to me and I knew all of this about her in the first place I wouldn’t have asked her to get married.
I understand each one has a different past and each one has his own mistakes I myself did many mistakes in the past but all of this makes me a little be uncomfortable at the moment.
I could give more details if needed but I would like to keep whats private private.
Just seeking outside perspective.
Thank you.
May Allah bless you all.