u/xTroidox

Seeking a chill person, a good soul, a friend in need, a partner in mischief, a reason to come home to, an occasional reality check, and a spouse who understands that matters of the heart are best discussed with honesty, kindness, and snacks.

In return, I offer what I have. Materially, not a great deal. Emotionally, I offer listening ears, admiring eyes, and almost the entirety of my heart. Small words with promises behind them.

Kindness, empathy, commitment, mutual respect, and fair power dynamics matter deeply to me. My humour is a little twisted and not always everyone’s cup of tea, but it is brewed with harmless intentions.

I am on my journey to find my Ikigai, the idea of living a balanced and meaningful life. Come help me find mine, and I will try my best to find yours.

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1. Age, Gender and Height

Male, born 1990. Height: 5’8”.

2. Age Range I Prefer

Around 28-ish to somewhere in the mid or late 30s. Maturity appreciated.

3. Location and Relocation

Open to someone from anywhere, as long as relocating to Australia is not a dealbreaker and you do not mind sharing the usual sunlight, sunscreen, stress and a steady stream of silliness.

4. Nationality

Bangladeshi-born, now an Australian citizen.

5. Marital Status

Divorced, no kids, with clarity on what I want moving forward.

6. Ideal Marriage Timeline

Preferably within 8 to 12 months. I think that is enough time to build understanding, chemistry and shared direction.

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7. About Me

I work as an engineer and spend whatever time remains trying to behave like a functional adult.

I left Bangladesh young, came here to study, and lived through the familiar first-gen immigrant experience. Strange jobs, stranger meals, tight money, and slowly piecing together some modicum of adulthood, one suspiciously cheap furniture at a time. I am grateful for the road that carried me here. Some days I look steady; most days I am just afloat and pretending this was the plan.

I am laid back, mildly chaotic under pressure, gifted at procrastination, dependable with cleaning, and hopeless in the kitchen in ways that may require extensive supervision. I try to stay grounded and take responsibility for my choices, even the questionable ones.

My favourite ending to a day is a quiet conscience. My favourite beginning is the smell of freshly ground coffee drifting through a still morning.

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8. Five Important Characteristics I Look For

9. Respectful in daily life. Understands boundaries, chooses kindness, and treats people with consideration.

10. Emotionally aware and steady. Comfortable with silence, honest conversation, and the awkward bits in between.

11. Progressive and open-minded. Can hold strong opinions without treating them like commandments.

12. Has compatible humour. The kind that can laugh in the dark, but never at someone left there.

13. Cares beyond herself. Thoughtful about charity, sustainability, and minimising harm in small, practical choices.

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9. Religiosity

Atheist and respectful of all beliefs, with a culturally Muslim upbringing. I have learned from experience that I am most compatible with someone who is not guided by rigid religious expectations, especially when it comes to shared values, decision-making and raising future children.

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10. Education and What I Am Looking For

Bachelor’s in Engineering, completed in 2015 in Sydney. I hope to study further in the future. 

I am looking for someone who has completed their bachelor’s and is progressing in their career or pursuing higher education.

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11. Current Job Status

Full-time engineer in MAANG. Career is stable and predictable, which is both comforting and slightly dull.

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12. Do I Want Kids

Open to the idea of kids, but only if we are not passing down the generational trauma that came with us.

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13. Hobbies and Spare-Time Joys

Most of my free time goes straight to sleep.

Indoor rowing with a podcast or audiobook is how I switch my brain off.

I am strangely obsessed with coffee and moka pots; I own five moka pots and two grinders for reasons I cannot fully explain.

If a problem at work is interesting enough, I bring it home and tinker through the night, then turn up to work again with barely any sleep.

I have not travelled much yet, but I imagine it would be a lot more fun with the right person beside me.

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14. Something Interesting About Me

I grew up in a Bangladeshi household where authority sat with the father and respect travelled mostly in one direction. I carried some of those ideas into adulthood until life and distance made me question them. I have been unlearning old patterns ever since, trying to make room for something healthier, where both people feel heard, valued, and safe to be fully human.

I find comfort in misty mountain ridges, in old pages of heartache-filled poetry, in the quiet just before rain, and the bite of wet grass beneath my feet. Cannabis, used responsibly, deepens that calm. A simple and rustic life appeals to the version of me that still daydreams, though suburban comfort has a way of pulling me back into familiar routines. I often imagine myself in a small treehouse in the forest with running hot water, a sturdy roof beneath the big old moon, and just enough internet to check whether the world has coped with my hiatus.

I was briefly married once. We walked into something we were not ready for, and the path did not hold. It left me with a better sense of what it means to choose the right person with intention, clarity, and care.

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15. What I Am Looking For in a Woman

Kindness and clarity of thought draw me most. A progressive mind, a steady heart, and the ability to move through difficult moments without turning them into battles.

To me, partnership means standing beside each other when life gets heavy, then finding the way back with patience, honesty, and care. I value someone who can forgive without keeping score, and understands that sacrifices made with care can strengthen the bond.

What matters most is someone comfortable in her own presence, who takes care of herself without chasing perfection. A little tolerance for my questionable fashion sense also helps.

I prefer a simple celebration over a lavish wedding, and a shared intention to live gently with each other and the world.

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16. Preferred Method of Contact

You can reach me at this famously self-aware email address: iamnotacatch@gmail.com

DMs are welcome too if that feels easier. A short note about who you are and how you see the world would be lovely.