u/xXTakkoKatXx

I’m currently 17 y/o (F), my dad disowned me a couple years ago, cuz of word getting out about him touching me not appropriately,, my step mother disowned me because of me being overdosed and saying rude things to my dad when he was slapping me like 2 years ago,, and my mother as well as my step father are currently disowning me, (for my mother it’s because): I slept with my step dad this past December-January,, it started out this past Christmas Eve, I was laying in bed with him watching movies cuz that was our thing, he would invite me to watch movies together in my mom and his room,, so, Christmas Eve, I was hugging him and watching movies with him, he put his leg btween mine and I felt his ykw on my leg hardcgkcb,, so I turned the opposite way, then he turned towards me and hugged me but I could feel him pressing up on me, so I was uncomfortable and turned back towards him but my leg ended up on top of his, and so he started humping me in my private area,, all while my mom was otp with him, so my mom said she was home, and he got off and told me to greet my mom, so I did, then they went to late Christmas shop, and so I was crying rlly hard and asked my older sister for a hug, she was getting mad cuz I was crying, she basically was being rude til I told her what happened, I had told her crying, and she said I’m over-reacting, and being dramatic,, so I said okay and just shut up,, then when they got home, my step dad apologized, I told him it was okay and that I’m not mad at him, and so then the next day he was off I wanted to let him know that I wasn’t mad, so I had went into the room to watch a movie with him, plus it was the only time he wouldn’t get mad at me or cuss to my mom about how I’m a “dumbass”,, so, I went into the room, and idk what happened but it escalated and at that point I didn’t know what to think, we did stuff anal every time he was off work for 2 months almost,, and I hate it I hate it sm, he was the one to basically take my virginity, I never wanted if to be him, I never expected it to be, he knew me since I was 13 almost 14 I hate that I enjoyed the feeling, and I hate myself for letting it continue and reciprocating,, and so I told my mom crying because I love her so much and I did it regardless,,, I’m so incredibly stupid, I always do things that end up ruining everything and I know it’s no ones fault but my own. He wouldn’t yell at me after the sex, he defended me when everyone in the house was against me, but if we didn’t do things tgthr then he would treat me harshly, maybe that was part of why I reciprocated? I don’t know I really don’t know. My mom is leaving me now cuz my ex friend called cps which leaded to my step dad going to jail, she’s going to divorce him, she cut off my phone service because she doesn’t want me in her life, and wants me to figure it out, I’m using a hotspot rn, I’m finding a place to stay, and hoping I won’t end up losing mylife by myhands in the next couple months, I’ve been staying with my aunt and Grammy for almost half a year now, I just don’t know, I know this is my fault, I’m not looking for pity though, I just wanted to get this out, please give a response you think would fit if you want to, if not that’s okay too, I just rlly don’t think I’m going to end up making it past age 20, it got bad bad before, rock bottom after the divorce of my parents, but I think it may be below that now,,