I didn’t even come out. I just asked my mom to call me Niko. Then she told me my deadname and said, “You’re not gay, you’re not bisexual, you’re *deadname*.” She hasn’t called me Niko since. It’s honestly so annoying. Like, seriously, should I just stop responding when she calls me my deadname or what?
I would consider myself non-binary, but I'm not sure yet, I'm trying to discover myself now, and I think this is also part of my self-knowledge. I haven't come out and I don't plan to, because they wouldn't accept it (more so in the family). But it really sucks when my mom calls me a girl in front of other people, and someone randomly opens the door for me in the bathroom, but I quickly close the door (the last time it was my grandmother), and she tells me that she have a female body too. I hate it when people say that. I don't feel comfortable with a female body, but I don't think I would be comfortable with a male body either. I don't think there is such a thing as neutral surgery. And I also wanted to write here, although it really doesn't belong to this topic, that I often feel so homophobic, and it hurts me. I mean, I often think how someone can be attracted to their own gender, etc. When I know that it's natural, I often think things like that out of anger, but it quickly passes. And back to the topic, I hate it when people call me a girl. Wouldn't my mother prefer to call me her child? Why does she have to call me her daughter? And there's a name I like to be called by, and we met someone, and I told my mom not to tell them my first name because I use my nickname. So guess what she did. I introduced myself, and she told me my first name. Just because she likes it doesn't mean I like it. Because if I tell someone my first name and my nickname, they don't learn not to call me by it. Other than that, I hope everyone is having a good day. It's 7:33 here.